Thursday, July 31, 2008
Been falling sick the past weeks. The last few days were bad. Starting Tuesday, must have caught the virus from my classmate, and cupcorn made it worst. Had itchy throat and dripping nose which then turned out to a full fledged fever, cold and sore. Yesterday night was terrible. Never felt so sick for so long. Hate nausous feelings. Just sat in the toilet and cried. Wishing Xiao mao was there. Hahaha joking!!! I was wishing Iggy can pick up my calls >=(
But no la, he was outside having dinner at that time. My mummy was in a bad mood too when she came home, 'cause guess alot of problems including me. So I went to bed straight, dun wanna make her even crabby. Yup but feeling better now. Sore throat's turning into cough, working my aching abs. Just a slight fever, headahce and still dripping nose. Ya, I feel so bad for all the people that I pang seh. Esmond and my FYP mates. I'll be back in school to help. >.<
heeee...
P.S April is behaving weirdly too. =/ Perhaps she's sick too...She's sleeping on Iggy's lap now. Sweet. =)
Today Daddy cook Japanese noodle for me. Very nice!! Iggy bought 2 tubs of Century Egg porridge! I feel so pampered and loved by the two important man in my life! ^^
Labels: April Baby, love-d, sick
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Today I have 2 UTs. I didn't study at all. Eh. I admit I never study for UTs before >.<
Yesterday had first
FYP2 meeting. Seems like we're doing a film. Quite heavy work. Though definitely more experienced in that field than animation. Okay, my nose and throat's feeling itchy. Sneezing non-stop. Hm, I sense serious trouble brewing concerning my little brother. And church. Stand up Jo` and be a protector. I can handle this for him. Just like how my elder brother helped me in the past.
And and, I can't wait for training later. I dream these:
And I'm inspired to achieved this!
P.S My Taiwan guy's called '
Xiao Mao' and he's the one who can tumble and flip 720 degrees.
Aww!
Labels: cheer, determine, random
Monday, July 28, 2008
Credits to Jolene =)
Coaches and Us. My Taiwan guy is there! Right beside me! Wheee....herher! ^^
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Haaa...I'm so going to practice bactuck and do an X-Out. ;) I'm so inspired and motivated.
Labels: cheer, motivated
Sunday, July 27, 2008
I feel like moving blog. Cause this blog is so full! 200 over posts. It's like so messy. Haha. What an achievement though.
Well, it's back to not enough sleep period again. I'm so sleepy all the time...leave my alone for a few minutes and I'll be giving puffer fish eyes next.
Anyway, workshop is a blast! My muscles are aching now and ever since the first day. It was really really good. I miss those Taiwan coaches especially this guy which I sadly can't remember his name. Awww...He's so nice =p .And the guys there can all do toss up straight to single extension height, another small dip and switch to arabesque single ex that sort of thing. I like their slow and light momentum. Can't describe la. Yaaaa...so I learnt many things and tried many things. It's like revelations. Haha. Oh. Sigh. My Taiwan guy...
It's a tiring two day. On top of everything, brought April out for a 'walk' earlier on. She ran off and wouldn't return even when I called and screamed. Betrayed my trust >=( I was like chasing her down the road and over all the way to blocks one street down. She zoomed past two carparks and many roads. Heart in my mouth. Caught up with her in the end though.
I proclaim I love cheer too! And Iggy's the best still of course! =D
Labels: cheer, random
Friday, July 25, 2008
We are often discontented
and much dissatisfied
That our wish for recognition
has not been gratified.
We feel that we've been cheated
in beauty, charm, and brains
And we think of all our losses
and forget all about our gains
And dwelling on the things we lack
we grow miserable inside
Brooding over our deficits
that are born of human pride
We begin to harbor resentment
and envy fills our heart
That we do not possess the things
that make others seem so good
And in our condemnation
of the traits that we possess
We magnify our painful plight
and sink deeper in distress.
We cannot all be famous
or be listed in "Who's Who"
But every person, great or small
has important work to do.
Seldom do we realize
the importance of small deeds
Or to what degree of greatness
unnoticed kindness leads.
For it's not the big celebrity
in a world of fame and praise
But it's doing unpretentiously
in an undistinguished way
It's the work that God assigns to us
unimportant as it seems
That makes our task outstanding
and brings reality to our dreams
At the place God put you
begin at once to do
The little things to brighten up
the lives surrounding you.
-
"we are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed.
Perplexed, but not in despair.
Persecuted but not abandoned.
Stuck down but not destroyed."
2 cor 4: 8-9
Jimmy mentioned this verse. About the inner strength in me. When you feel like you had given all, had nothing else left, something else inside lift you up and push your back all the way to your destination. The verse is all along in my wallet. My first verse card which my mummy bought for me ages ago, when I came back to God.
Labels: deep thoughts
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Backtracking...
Monday. Iggy came over with Roti Prata. It was raining. Sudden mad urge to play in the rain. Went down with April, splashed one round around the field and went back up. Iggy wrapped April in his shirt towards the end as she was trembling a bit with cold. Haha. Cute =)
Later in the day, went to school. Follow
Serina and Iggy to shop for their
FYP stuff, chocolate groceries. Went to an
AMK baking shop. They got so many stuffs there and cheap! There's even frozen blueberries! I'm dreaming blueberry pie again.
Anyway, then went on ahead to AMK hub. Bought durian pancake. I ate it okay and I think it's nice and I wanted more. So I dun care..Iggy gotta appreciate century egg too. Neh Neh~
FYP 2 is starting. Gosh, barely a break. First meeting starting on coming Monday.
Labels: April Baby, love-d
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday.
All the days in the week
and 5 out of 7 days,
I live my own world out there.
Do you know, do you know?
Words you can say,
try to teach and change.
But visually, physically,
I learn nothing,
I'm not growing.
I get dark thoughts instead
to draw and pull away.
It's a
hypocritical world out there,
everyone, plus you and me.
We do and say things we ourselves criticize
But never mind, it's okay
cause there's got God in the house
and He speaks, loud and clear.
Labels: deep thoughts, disappointed
Friday, July 18, 2008
Read this post monotonously.
Today is the day. Submission of
FYP. Oral defence will be on 2
nd August. So tired. Didn't really sleep well. Puffy eyes now. Today class record of 9 people. Everyone rushing
FYP. I should have
pon too. Didn't feed April before I left house. She was like jumping about thinking I'm going to pour food for her when I was walking towards the door. Feel so guilty. Later there's tuition too. I feel like a walking zombie. I hope today class end early since there's only like 9 people. Then can start tuition early, so I need not cab down for cell. I want to crack back.
Ya. So dull my life.
Labels: FYP, moody
Thursday, July 17, 2008
I need some suger rush. I need a can of RedBull. Feel so
nuah now. Aww..I wanna snuggle in to bed, with April- warmthness, smell and all. Haha. I love the smell of April, though disgusting it may sound. Lol. It's not that bad la.
Hmmm. Okay I forgot what I wanna blog about. =/
Labels: April Baby, tired
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
It's the last leg of FYP. Friday's the submission! Jiayou to me! Jiayou to me!! ^^
And I can't wait for my pay to come in. I'm only starting my 2nd week of tutoring. My wooden treasure box is quite miserable right now. Past few weeks have been spending alot. On necessities, okay.... But anyway, another, say 3 more weeks of school left. Gosh, I can't wait! I'm gonna relax extremely, extremely.
Labels: FYP, random, tired
Monday, July 14, 2008
Haha. I found the secret to reaching school on time. Waking up late. I'm serious. Anyway my butt and arms are aching. Cycling to and fro through Pasir Ris yesterday. April is so cute. She got shaved body and big head, bushy tail. Sort of like a cocker spaniel cut instead.
Doesn't look that bad right.....
and walking in the rain =)
Labels: April Baby, random
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Fun fun fun fun fun!!! Came back from a cycling trip with my daddy. We went to bring April to a pet shop in Elias (somewhere near to Pasir Ris Farmway) for grooming. Haha, Iggy! No more excuses. I did it okay! From one end of Pasir Ris to another. ^^
My daddy bought a mountain bike which arrived this morning. So we got two bikes now!
Anyway, April had already been dump in the pet shop. Haha, empty basket see..left the towels, leash and collar only. Hehe.
I fell down!! =( See those long scratches. So embarassing, right infront of a crowded bus stop and 10 seconds away from my destination. Poor April rolled out of the basket and tried to make a frantic escape. 
There's my daddy! Upgrading his new bike at the bike shop near the pet shop.
While I take a rest...
Okay.....this is April most recent photo. Haha..bye bye to this =(
and sleeping with her hair on
and hello to this....later. Haha, she's not back yet. This is an old photo I found in my Dad's handphone.
Along with this...a family photo. There's uncle Jim, our family's USA friend and Wina still. And ya, scrubby April.
Ya...and this. Together with Uncle Jim. It was a few years back. See how baby Darren was and how toot I am. Plus long hair Alvin. Haha.
Cycling back to another end of Pasir Ris again later to pick up April...Woo, tired. Was painting the door frame with daddy just now. And installing new grill to stop April's mad attempt and jumping into our neighbour's bed again. Which she attempted today!!
Labels: family times, happy
Friday, July 11, 2008
i do not recognize any love, and appreciation, any sign of a listening ear, any sign of wanting to help.
that's why people choose to put the knife over their heart. 忍
i thought it's better this way too.
i can't describe what i really feel.
in the end, i'm beaten down, retreating back to my shell, behind those walls.
Labels: disappointed
A thoughtful deed, a simple action, and nice words beget another friendship- Simple and truthful. =)
Today is such a nice day to sleep in. I woke up super late but I reached school early. Haha weird. But it's really a nice day today, chilly, damp....I woke up feeling refreshed. I dunno when since I felt this way. Somehow, I think I'm like a tornado, zooming through the day, always rushing...not stopping. Anyway, to add on to my packed schedule, I've gotten two tuition assignments. Teaching english, maths and science to 2 kids, P5 and P3. I need to study my maths and science again. Hahah. But yup, I accepted the job cause I want to learn to stretch my capacity. I think I'm complaining too much at a little bit of pressure. Besides, of course it's more income too..
I can't recall the what happen yesterday or yesterday's yesterday, and so forth unless I think really hard. I can't recall my dreams, I dun even know my calling. I'm moving too fast.Labels: deep thoughts, determine
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
It's a stressful time for most. Something to cheer you up. =)
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-
old children, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.
Child's Definition of LOVE:
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." (-..-""")
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen" (
WoW!)
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate"
"There are two kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them."
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." (
LOL!)
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget,"
Author and lecturer Leo
Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and sat there. When his Mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."
***
Aww..to think that I am whining about people not loving me enough. But really, those kids know that love isn't all about oneself. Convicted. T.T
Labels: love-d
Monday, July 07, 2008
- I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
- I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
- I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.
- I've learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.
- I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
- I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
- I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
- I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
- I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
- I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.
- I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
- I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
- I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
- I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
- I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.
- I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
- I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions
- I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
- I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.
- I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
- I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better know something.
- I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.
- I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
- I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.
- I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
- I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
- I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
- I've learned that I'm getting more and more like my grandma, and I'm kinda happy about it.
- I've learned that if you don't want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer.
- I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
- I've learned that the clothes I like best are the ones with the most holes in them.
- I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
- I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life.
- I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.
- I've learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.
- I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
Labels: deep thoughts
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Everyone have their fair share of hurts and disappointments. Some may think
theirs worst than another. But in the end, what people went through, you'll never fully grasp til you're in their shoe.
I never really face my disappointments honestly. I've always tell myself, 'It's okay la. Never mind. Move on.' Keep it all inside my heart. Maybe I dun look like it. I laugh loud, talk loud, get excited and chatter along.... You might think, I've got so many friends! I got a boyfriend! I got so many people to talk to and have fun.' So? Does that mean anything? Does whatever possessions I have determines my character and my personality? Always see beyond somebody. Discernment. I always like to observe deep into someone. Recently, I built a wall around myself, shutting myself in, try to be cold and quiet to those around me...I'm sorry to say that, my dearest
cellgroup members and Iggy get to see my aloofness. I thought I could be myself, no need to put up a strong front, no need to be so spiritual. Just myself. Cause anyway, that's what I thought cell is for =) to help and encourage each other, plant you down in God strong.
I remember Pastor talking about silent vows. Vowing to be not like someone who disappoints you. Like an abusive dad, or a mum, or uncle..whoever. I vowed not to be like my mum. Dun wanna elaborate.Words hurts. And I dealt hurtful words out too. And I think Iggy got the worst deal of it. God brought to my
remembrance yesterday about silent vows. And I realise I'm just following in the footsteps I vowed not to be in. The truth is, I've still not get over the hurts and disappointments in my life with regards to my mum and now I'm just following her, going in one big circle.
Anyway, ya yesterday was about facing your hurts and disappointments openly. Dun deny it. And bury it. Dun tell yourself 'forget it'. Say it. Okay.....I've not accomplished whatever I'm saying now. Hippopotamus. But ya, so if anyone comes to you to tell you a problem in life, he/she doesn't need a solution, doesn't need people to tell him what to do. He/she would probably know what to do, if he/she wants to. He/she just want someone to listen to.
P.S Like said, blogging is a way to express your anger cause no1 got the time to listen. Not for me..just that writing is a way to express myself, cause I dunno how to share my problems face to face. I'm good in written words.
Apparently, I felt I'm too far behind, I never had the time for and you've found better friends. Moving on fast. Perhaps you've
nv bothered and cared. Why can't you be the one stepping out to ask? I'm not going try anymore. So ya, I came to realise from whatever I've seen and heard, that I can't expect anything from you. Because time and again, no matter how many times I said, you're still the same. I really got nothing much to say now. My hurts and disappointments are not dealt with yet I realise, after
writing this. But...I dunno...I need God to tell me.
P.P.S My relationship with my mum is great now of course. =) I love my family.
P.P.P.S haha..hold on, dun so easily assume that I'm talking about anyone of you reading this okay.
Labels: deep thoughts, memories
How sad. I'm in school right now. On a perfect cloudy
Sunday. It's raining lightly now though. Sitting by the glass window. Hearing the rain pattering down. Watching the raindrops sliding down the glass. Aw. Perfect time to
emo.
Haha. Okay. No la.
He was accompanying me....
....by playing Maple.
Haha. While I'm
FYP-
ing, supposedly.
My
eyebags....Gosh, and I have a
moustache.
Ahaha. And April's getting fluffy. I like.
Okay. She doesn't sleep on her bed. She sleeps on my bag.
Killer stare: Disturb me
some more and I'll bite you.
Arh. Random. Will blog more about yesterday service. Releasing and dealing with hurts and disappointments.
Labels: random
Friday, July 04, 2008
I know I sound like an antsy person, raving here and there and scolding anything and everything. But I'm really really really tired and drain and dry, so stop pointing out faults and problems to me! Provide a solution la! What's the use of yakking away about how mean that was, how unfair anything was, how poor thing, how bad was that and then just shoot me down and let me die? Can't you provide a solution like offering yourself, your time, your assistance such that the whole situation you blabbering about ain't anything unfair poor bad mean or what so not not? Why is that it must be me that's initiating? Me that is organizing for you. Me that is asking around. Me that is doing everything. Me me me me for you you you you. I'm more than happy to organize stuff, remember people, invite people, make them happy. And you didn't see that. You didn't mention that. Just go on and say and drone on about the faults in the things I do. I dunno what is do unto people what you want others to do unto you. Being nice doesn't pay off is it not? Correction. Being nice to you doesn't pay off. Only you complain. You just want people to do things for you. That's it. Labels: rants
Mundane mundane mundane life! School
FYP school
FYP FYP school
FYP school
FYP!
It's not tiring as in consuming strength physically, but boring and dry till life's so shrivel up and ya, dead. I dread every
FYP session. It drains me.
Grr.
Tomorrow and Sunday got
FYP too for the next two weeks. Talk to me bout sacrificing for just two Saturdays, not going church and sleeping in later for Sundays. Feel like
hollering the hell out of them when they said that yesterday. Like HELLO? I stay in
Pasir Ris. Their meet at 10am means waking up 7am for me. And upon reaching school, all of them are not there yet. Telling me they'll reach only around 11plus and reached at 12pm actually. Show me that they can come on time first la! I long to bite off their heads one by way and chomp and chew and squeeze and stomp and shredding them into pieces! RAH!!! *runs out of air* I'm still angry.
Labels: FYP madness, moody, rants
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
For the first time in my schooling history did I ever wish that there's some work for me to do. Design studio is the slackiest module ever! Put the problem statement up on the screen, freeze that screen, do your own stuff (blog, facebook, watch movie, play games, chit-chat ANYTHING, except work). Coming up with a poster, a t-shirt, a design on photoshop dun take us like 8 hours. 8am-4pm in school, at most 2-3 hours to come up with a design. It's a waste of my time!!!!!! ARGH!!! I'm rotting in class. Could spent the time catchig more sleep. I'm so tired, I practically snooze through 1 hour of alarm and woke up late. Jump onto the bus and continue sleeping. Ah wells..
Once was, now is, and will always be. For a while, it disappeared. But found it, new meaning in life. Go on. Dun look back =)
Labels: cheer, moving on
And I'm inspired to achieved this!
TP Blazers. SMU Flare. RP Rexaz. Plus Xiong Ge, our team coach.
We got second.
Later in the day, went to school. Follow Serina and Iggy to shop for their FYP stuff, chocolate groceries. Went to an AMK baking shop. They got so many stuffs there and cheap! There's even frozen blueberries! I'm dreaming blueberry pie again. 
and sleeping with her hair on
Cycling back to another end of Pasir Ris again later to pick up April...Woo, tired. Was painting the door frame with daddy just now. And installing new grill to stop April's mad attempt and jumping into our neighbour's bed again. Which she attempted today!!
....by playing Maple. Haha. While I'm FYP-ing, supposedly.
My eyebags....Gosh, and I have a moustache.
Ahaha. And April's getting fluffy. I like.
Okay. She doesn't sleep on her bed. She sleeps on my bag. 
Arh. Random. Will blog more about yesterday service. Releasing and dealing with hurts and disappointments.
