A day at Pasir Ris Beach, again....Iggy stayed-over. Cabbed home from Bukit Batok back to Pasir Ris, detouring to Sembawang along the way, after Iggy's grandpa birthday celebration. I was sleeping most of the ride and it was such a nice feeling. Anyway, I went to one of his aunt's place at The Linear Condo and it is so nice laaa...I wanna design my own house nice nice too!

Labels: family times, love-d

I set up the Christmas tree! Yeah!! I'm so excited, I'm gonna prepare a Christmas dinner for dearest Iggy and if he gives the thumbs up, I'm gonna prepare for my dearest friends and cellgroup too. It's my family's Christmas Specialty okay!

Labels: April Baby, Christmas, love-d

Asia Conference. It feels pretty much like Emerge, just much more packed, packed, packed! And awesome! So many people, my gosh. I sat in the overflow room throughout, sad. Sigh. But still it was quite a sight to behold, so many people lifting their hands and singing. The chorus of voices in the overflow room was so overwhelming. I listened more than I sang myself. It's so beautiful.

The Church and the World outside, preparation and time, ministering in the marketplace.. I know it's the word in season for me! I need to grow out of my old mindset. (How many times have I said this?) Not that passive girl that prefers to depend on others and fear people.

Anyway, finally, Asia Conference's performance down. One thing less. Pretty relief and yet, I hope to be able to perform with them one day again. Fun and loving people. Just different when you know everyone's motivation is shining for God. Here's some photos and snippets of the few months we trained together.

Labels: AsiaConf., cheer, love-d, memories

Know my recent post is so flotsam and jetsam. Bits and pieces. It's random thoughts type out, not particularly meaning much because it's just rants. But sort of sorted out what the hell am I thinking.

I could bring God wherever I go. God dwells in me and everywhere. He's not limited to just the church. This nationals, the difference would be I have God with me. As I'd said, I've sort of sorted out the thoughts in my heads- mainly the disapproval I might face is eating in me and I got kind of angry with myself.. for my wavering decision, afraid of this and that, and what people would say and think. Try to blame others along the way for not understanding. But it's all quite nonsensical because no1 has yet to reject and it's really just me thinking too much. Perhaps, the past experience caused me to fear.
But I've decided, firmly, and I prayed and know that God's with me. He will follow and lead my way through the whole nationals period. *Peace sign*. And I know, I will still have time for the cell group, my vision still holds for them. Maybe time would be tight, but I guess it's really how I can maximize the time to bring forth what I have and need to do. I know God will provide me the wisdom. Haha. Erm. Inside joke.

So I kind of understand what I'm typing the past few days. Haha. I got angry for no apparent reason at anybody. Not outwardly but inwardly. I never usually show temper or give black face even though I'm really in a freaking bad mood. But Iggy got most of it cuz I only show him though it has nothing to do with him most of the time. Haha. But he's so nice, he understand........ ^^ I love you!!

p/s: Thank you, Gab too...You know why... =)

Labels: cheer, deep thoughts, God, love-d

I cannot leave just yet, now that it has come to this.

At this time, perhaps the fire would burn even stronger, the people would rise up to take their place and push themselves to cover up the lack. Right now, it could all seems hopeless, for strength is gone and talent is wasted, but all this can be build up if we do not despair and doubt ourselves. At this point of time, it is when we must prove things otherwise.

And now that it has come to this...

The sense of responsibility.. to make things right, for every wrong that I've made in the previous would be set straight again. It is not guilt or what some might say, 'bout it tying me down and stuffs. But I want to, and want to be a good finisher. My last year should be the best I can be and perfect to what I can do.

Perhaps not for others. But I will go where others would not.

Now it has come to this...

I will follow you where you go, to where you put me, I will not abandon and I will not be selfish. I keep my human nature check to see the best of others shine and the team would be a legacy in future come.

A team will not die just because it was trusted in wrong or not good enough hands. It would die only if the hands can't be bothered anymore and live only for themselves.

Labels: cheer, determine

I got nothing much to say except that I'm tired, sleepy, lethargic, moody and feeling extremely screwed up.

Everyone is in their own world,
busy with their life.
Not thought of and needed
unless it be getting things done.
I know nothing 'bout your life,
and you know nuts 'bout mine either.
Just random snippets of more interesting events
that we share and can't seem to catch.
If one day, I fell and hit my head,
crack my neck and break my back,
dislocate my elbow and sprain my ankle,
would you ever know?
Would you even care, if I succeed
in a back tuck, front tuck,
fly bird, layout and all that terms
that I came to love, and you know nothing 'bout.
Cuz that's my stuff outside.
My world.

Talk is cheap.

Labels: rants, tired

I didn't go school today.....can't wake up again. Was pretty tired. Seems like a long time seems we've trained till 11pm. Was thinking so much on the long way home. And I got kind of discouraged. Can't see far, pretty negative... Heavy on my shoulders, weighing me down, those kind of things. But then I started to think of God and the limitless things I can do for Him. Envisioned myself doing more, changing mindset, shaping life....sort of feel better.

I've been listening to New Age songs, haha. Thanks to Simon....Seems retarded and sleepy but pretty uplifting still. That soaring feeling..

Labels: deep thoughts, God

This is so suay. Supposed to have an outdoor shoot yesterday but it was raining heavily so filming is cancelled. Then we got to lug back those heavy equipment to boss's house in the heavy rain either way. So we decided to take a cab back and it was a ripped off lor. Alissa's house was like just a 10 minute walk away from school and the cab fare cost freaking $13 plus. There's a surcharge of like $9++ because it's those bigger cabs. But the cab driver said it's just 40cents different from the normal. What he didn't tell us is, if we have more than 4 people, the surcharge applies. Pfffft.
Then later, unloading equipments.. I was carrying two tripods, one Canon DSLR, one Panasonic camera, one boom mic..I slipped and fell.
Now, sad thing the equipments are like of higher value, can't afford to pay them up. So just cant chuck it aside and save my life for nuts with my hands full. Argh, so just fall lor. Still fall into the drain some more. Argh!! Fall inside the drain with so many things hanging off me is more pai seh leh. Look like idiot kneeling down there and hands full, calling for help to lift me up cause I can't stand up with all the extra weight on me. Lame!!!!! My entire left leg was already abit screwed up and is more screwed now. Feels like I've been eating ice-cream and my joints there are absorbing it. Cold weather kills me.

Labels: FYP

Maybe you wondered, why is everything going so wrong? Every step you take is so tough? And you thought, you wonder where is God and what is He doing?
God didn't promise us that when we got saved that life would be a bed of roses. In fact I think, the bible mentioned that we have lots of trials and tribulation to come. (1st Peter 4:10) Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. Going through valleys is nothing strange!
In fact Job got it hard. He lost his entire possession, family, loved ones, and was so sick himself! Sons and daughters killed, and pus all over his body- who wants that?? God allow the devil to tempt Job but he held steadfast, knowing God will never forsake him. How strong is that kind of love and trust? Even I do not dare say I would hold up long.

But (1st cor. 10:13) No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
Trials developed your character, it pushes your endurance, it test your faith in God. How would you react in times of such storm? Get really angry with God and curse Him? Or do you grab hold of Him with such tenacity, such fierceness, nothing can shake you off? During difficult times, it is time when you are brought to rely more on His staff, to draw closer to Him. Those times, you build your relationship with God.

Maybe you need to rebuild your altar to God, perhaps you've been drifting away..Many times, I've returned to this altar, so broken. I pushed God away so many times. I've hide away from the many opportunities and chances that God has given me. Many times I did my own stuffs and get hurt, get so disappointed. Life's a mess, I say! Trials could be a time when God is setting things in order, setting our lives back on track. (John 16:33) I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. For (James 1:12) Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. God sees and knows your pain. Keep on trusting........................

Labels: God

Er hem. I couldn't wake up for school this week's Monday, meaning...Yup, anyway....

We brought April down for a walk and later settle underneath the void deck to cut her hair. I can see her eye now. Not bad- I think Iggy and I are set to open our pet shop. Haha. =)

Labels: April Baby, love-d

I just feel like blogging.

My heart is beating in trepidation even as I'm writing these down. The future never seems so near. It's like another 3 months so and I'm done. One chapter of my life closed and another starting- starting in the marketplace, in what all adults called the real world. I mean, planning about it, dreaming about it, it's totally different. I am very nervous on what's to come. And, there's God, there's cellgroup, there's Iggy.....A whole lifetime I cannot imagine, I cannot fathom. Such great dreams and visions, you know. And yet the sense of, "It's coming. No longer just a dream. It's for real."

I was pretty passive and whatnot. Now that a greater part of the long-time members, that has been with me ever since I stepped into church 3 years ago, have been transferred out, I really feel like there's no more to it. No more excuses, no more procrastination that someone else can and will do it. There's greater and real responsibilities on me, and with actual lives in my hands. Day by day, I'm growing more in love, more inspired, more motivated to do things for God. And no longer for myself. Perhaps why life is made much more difficult for me is because I cannot, in Chinese saying: One leg step two bed (in direct translation, ha ha) Okay my Chinese suck. But anyway, ya, I can't. I've pushed God away too many times. Did it my way for too long. No more!
My priority, my focus: My God. I'm gonna start over.

Labels: determine, God

As much as I try to block out my mind to my desires, it's hard to be an angel for I am, really just a human. And like any other, thinks about one's needs & wants.

But now, it feels like it doesn't matters anymore. For whatever anyone says, good or bad, I know I'm no longer as good as I wished I was. And I dunno why. I really tried.

It's so much so, I came to a point, I wanna give it all up. No more dilemma, no more disappointments. Though it would really wrench my heart.

For I love it.

Labels: emo-ing

So sometimes you do wonder, how come it's so unfair, why is it like this, i don't like it. Maybe sometimes you ought to think that, at your temporary inconvenience the changes are there to make it more convenient for many other people. I thought through it, probably it's that way so that more people will be blessed rather than me just being selfish.

I was encouraged too, Rena. Thanks for sharing this. =) May it encourage others too here. When things go wrong as they sometimes will, when the road you're trudging seems all up hill. When funds are low and the debts are high, you want to smile, but you have to sigh. When care is pressing you down a bit, rest, if you must, but don't you quit. Don't give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed with another blow. You never can tell how close you are. It may be near when it seems so far. So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit for it's when things seem worst that you must not QUIT.

Labels: encouraged

I waited more than an hour for my laptop to start up. Gosh! I thought my laptop died or something, like fail to boot. Give me the scares. I was already preparing to pack up, change and send it to the school hospital, which is quite hopeless. Or as Simon puts it 'IT Helpass'. -.-" Hahaha. But I'm more hopeless than them in stuffs like this. Arh, anyway I know all he wants is my Secondhand Serenade songs. I hope my laptop is fine now, I will die if it takes an hour to start up everyday. Currently scanning it for viruses again. Who knows. Sigh, maybe should let it die and reformat it. Okay, think I better backup my stuffs first.

P.S Iggy bought me a mouse! Yeaah!=) Thanks dearest, makes playing game easier. Haha.

Labels: random

I got 1944 threats found on my laptop! No wonder my laptop is so lag! Argh! Do not use Symentic Antivirus, I promise. It's not working at all. 1944 threats! Not a single detection! God knows how long it has been going on. I got so fed up today with my laptop hanging and lagging nuts time, I got a little suspicious and download AVG. And here's what I got. Bad!

Oh wait...AVG has not finished scanning yet. I accidentally paused it. Freak! How much more virus would be detected?

Labels: rants

Headache. I can't wake up today. Reached school at 9am. I took 15 minutes to prepare and leave the house. But I did brush my teeth. Haha. So tired...

Anyway, I'm slacking now. Got nothing to do, just need to do up a pitch and show some footage of our advertisement. Today 3rd meeting starting at 12.30pm, so meaning today will end class duper early too.
That day, I bought a new bag pack too. Yeahh...Conclusion was, it was a happy day. Iggy cycled from my house to Tampines. Cut his hair, bought my bag, got his spray and cycle back. Then we had facial. Pictures too ugly to post up. I dun dare. Haha. The day Iggy comes, is also April smells nice day. Next up, let's throw April into the pool okay??

I love building God's house!

Labels: love-d, slacking