Jo`s

2009-04-23T15:51:00.003+08:00

joanna-chin

blogger no more.
I'm a live-journalist officially.

Psst: if it ain't clear enough, I reveal it now
http://joanna-chin.livejournal.com

2009-04-11T01:21:00.003+08:00

Oh the love of my life~

and goodbye to everything superficial. I'm going away!

I will be back as I please :)

2009-04-07T11:06:00.002+08:00

I'm figuring out how livejournal works. After like 5 years of blogger and trying to switch in between here and there unsuccessfully, I finally set up on account there. I've gotten this far, so lets try.

2009-03-24T11:28:00.008+08:00

It's such a beautiful memory. The moment of victory... the tense moments before it, holding hands and praying deeply, just repeating God God God in my head and the outburst of tears and hugs and screaming.

How I wish it wasn't my last year with you guys. This nationals had given me so much memories to keep.
Those trying times, when pain and injuries set in, when stunts fell and tears flow, when coach was upset.
Those times of laughter and fun, ghost stories and dog stories, learning how to be sexy and bitchy, those campus runs or traffic junction route, those OUT and REFLECT together. How can I ever describe finish?

Rexaz made my day, all you beautiful people with your different and distinct personality that makes me smile and laugh out loud.

To my dearest Iggy, for keeping on believing in me, wiping away my tears, confessing in me, telling me I can I can I can do it and making me say it out.

To my beloved e269- Jimmy for being so supportive and patient during the months of trainings. Your understanding allows me to focus during those times and thanks for sponsoring the flowers. I feel so extra special that day. And Ying Fang, Jun Hui and Louisa for coming down that day I was so so surprised and touched. *hugs*
And Mummy, Daddy for coming down! I was even more more pleased. Your presence means so much to me. It truly the most wonderful day of my life. I always wanted you all to see me in my uniform and performing. I love You Mum, Dad =) Oh and all those pictures you snapped!
Not forgetting Karen and Maxtreme! All of your laughter are so infectious. You guys taught us alot and is always helping, supporting us. The winning spirit you gave us. Screaming your lungs out during our performance. Karen I know you're behind jumping up and down screaming! Thank you for always believing in me. You made me cry so much everytime you talk to me. Congrats on getting the champs for girls group!
And lastly to my Coach Audrey, Rexaz wouldn't be where we are today without you. I wouldn't be who I am without you. Thank you for giving the 2 years plus of your life to us. The commitment that you've shown us, advices you have given the committee, to help Rexaz leave a legacy and a long way into history. Rexaz is as much yours as ours.
Thank you for giving me so many many opportunities though many times I'm not deserving of it, though many times I cannot execute what you want, though many times, after countless reminders I still forget to point toes, to go up fast, to stick it, to lock more etc etc. But no matter what, in my mind I always wanted to make you happy and I wanted to do it for you. Whatever you said to me, those encouragements I really treasure it. No words can describe how much you mean to me and I'm sure does the rest of Rexaz. I really really love you. Oh and the memorable, JOANNA! GO OUT AND REFLECT! LOOK AT THE SKY UNTIL YOU REMEMBER!

Rexaz! There's more to come! You guys gonna be even better the year after and after and after!
Cheerobics 2009 =)

2009-03-21T23:43:00.002+08:00

YES WE CAN
YES WE CAN
YES WE CAN

And it's gonna be alright,
cause You are in my life.

Gonna be gonna be gonna be alright!

2009-03-20T11:34:00.003+08:00

Was thinking......

Hebrews 12

^{v5 ...}“ My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD,
Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him;
^v6 For whom the LORD loves He chastens,
And scourges every son whom He receives.”

^v11 Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

That's really how we grow, how we improve and become better. Through the discipline we are subjected to. I should not fear, and be distracted, for God has placed me in good hands all this while.

“Be alert, stand firm in the faith, be brave and strong.”
1 Corinthians 16:13

2009-03-19T10:28:00.003+08:00

3 more days. *jitters*

The power of Occlumancy: blocking your mind from all external penetration.
(sorry ar, been reading Harry Potter books again. It's a form of distraction la, my literature ability is not limited to that, except political reads.)

Focus.

2009-03-18T10:33:00.013+08:00

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Jiayou! We'll always love you! Because............simply...you are you!

2009-03-16T12:43:00.004+08:00

Random things

I ate the biggest "Da Pau" I'd ever seen this morning.
The "Da Pau" contains juice so much like "Xiao Long Bao" that it splatter all over my skirt. @#$%&*
Besides that, I have a cup of SoyaBean milk, Milo, subway cookies, "Wang Wang" biscuits and a Reese peanut butter chocolate on my table.
Patrick is squashed behind my butt right now.
I actually feel like going to the toilet now.
I'm blessed with a new wallet and shoe and some colourful pens.
I'm even more blessed with a new EOS Canon DSLR D45. Say hello to beautiful pictures :)
The first page, 10 columns, of my prayer book is all about Rexaz.
It's 6 more days to cheerobics.
The sermon on Saturday service was 'YES WE CAN!'

2009-03-12T16:09:00.001+08:00

Jesus Christ said, "I am the Vine; you are the branches. He that abides in Me, and I in him, the same will bring forth much fruit."

Divine creativity - like all of God's characteristics - grow in proportion to our "connectedness" to Him. If we want to be more creative, we must draw closer to God.

2009-03-10T12:35:00.006+08:00

It's 2 more weeks, 8 more trainings for team, 4 more trainings for group (argh!) to Nationals. And it's outside Zouk car park. Carpark! So gonna be frosted! Still, excitement mounting. Once again, one more time!!!

Anyway, I'm alone in office now, so lonely =( All my colleagues went over to Heeren side today and I'm stuck here cropping pictures and describing spectacles. Think I'm gonna go down soon packet lunch up to eat. So sad right!? With nobody but Patrick to accompany me. *smacks him on table*

I am so tempted to slack but I gotta rush alot of things by Friday. Neh nehhh....

P/S My left eye so painful. Keep having this painful thingy like pimple. Sunday was on my inner eyelid. Today got this huge growth just below my eye. Dam pain! ~!@#$%^&*

2009-03-06T11:28:00.005+08:00

Looking through my archives now.

Last year, this month, on the 8th,
I mentioned I bought the book Marley and me.
The movie's showing now.
How time flies....
I thought it was only a few months ago,
to think a full year has past.
And I mentioned how we wanted to do it for coach,
to make her happy...

On March 17th,
I wrote that it's just as well that I took no pictures.
Nothing great I did, nothing I am proud of.
I remember, I remember so clearly....
The moment, I landed and turn round,
I saw your eyes behind, and it's your eyes that haunt me.
I feel like I disappointed everybody and you.
I never felt this lousy in my life.
I felt like I've failed.
Like I've spoilt the whole thing.
I think I put alot of blame on myself for not performing.

Few days later,
I was still waking up with a heavy heart,
feeling sore and lousy.
Ambled about my house the whole day sighing and hating myself.
At that point, thought the whole world hates me too.
I remembered seeking out Pasir Ris Beach with April.
Inside me, I said I can never look myself the same way again.
I want to give up the whole thing, for I thought it's not my thing.

One full year later, I'm still in it.
I don't really know what makes me stay.
Over many occasions, I wanted to leave
for other commitments, under pressure inside or out.
To say I'm passionate about it is not right,
to say I really enjoy being in the company is not really right too.
I just remembered one thing, 'to return stronger than before.'
To finish what I begun 3 years ago.
It's the last of what defines 3 years of my life.
Where everything that happened, revolved around Rexaz.
You guys, are deeply attached in my heart, like nothing else.
That's why I stayed. To leave, is like taking a part of my life away.

I want to do it one last time with everybody. And I know this year, we WILL MAKE IT!

2009-03-04T15:56:00.006+08:00

Past few days were madness! Work and more work! The corporate brochure was the killer. Worked on it til 4am (one hour was spent on waiting for dying laptop to load and save the file in right format). Next day, had to skip service to rectify errors that my in-charge spotted in the morning. The horrors of horrors and during training some more. And I cant imagine how I manage to wake up at 7am for training. I'm power!

Now rushing through another assignment- cleaning up the photos for website. There's thousandfold of photos.........And I'm only at the 18th. The people there are too creative already. Every time got fresher ideas. So things are always last minute.

Patrick is my source of comfort in the office and lots and lots of tidbits to keep me stress free. *Smacks Patrick on the table*

I finally got ride of the school's domain and all it's ugly programs. Hahahaha. Goodbye to everything RP! Officially graduating on 7 April! I received the grad's letter. Hahaha. No fail anything!

I can't wait to move on......I just want to have a complete break..nothing to pull me back. No past....

2009-02-24T11:10:00.003+08:00

Heh heh. I'm in the cramped office now. It's really small but I like. Cosy, everything within reach. For everyone info, it's a small retail company and I'm in the marketing department.It's not really big shot cause there's seemingly just 3 office staff in the Bugis outlet. The rest are retail staff. Hahaha. Still it's cool. Having fun...though schedule is really packed head to toe and squeezed to the max, I'm excited, excited, excited aout everything!. Haha, maybe because this is the 3rd day of work only. But anyway, training is going well, I'm happy to do PT, happy to wake up early, happy rushing to training, though not the packed ride to school, and happy to train! Besides, it's only barely a month left! I shall enjoy every single moment ^^
Time for poor April baby and Iggy is all time low.

2009-02-22T14:46:00.005+08:00

Bumped into Bother Lawrence yesterday at JW service. Chatted with him just now. Feeling happy. Missed him so. Well, time indeed flies. One moment I'm like the geeky secondary school girl, all wrong footed and awkward, now I'm started working life. Still I remembered him as a great leader in Usher times, who raised and take care of me.

Well anywhere first day of work was pretty okay. At least it's stuff I like and pretty good at. Trying to come up with concepts and ideas for press release and March promotion. And came up with a banner design. Brain felt beaten up a bit. Haha.

This is where our future home gonna be, baby! BBQ pits, clean canal, beautiful lush park and a big prawning pond in the middle of the park. Near to the beach too!

2009-02-19T11:43:00.006+08:00

I got the job-s! Two jobs! Humph! When I'm mourning over the fact that jobs are so hard to get, God gave me two jobs! Thank You Lord! But now I'm peeling about the fact on how to accommodate both or reject one.
Okay, one starts tomorrow (the designer job) and it will last for 3 months. They made no mention of life after internship so I presume nothing first. Anyway, good thing is they are accommodating to my schedule until March 22nd. It last till end of May.
The second one (editor) starts mid to late April and it's not confirmed yet, they will further discuss with me about dates. However I will be given projects to do on my own timing, so it's like freelance until their internship starts, and if all's good, I'll be working full-time there. Now let's just hope that perhaps, they will push back my internship to end May instead. One month later, think it's possible? I pray... God makes all things possible!

p/s I think I didn't mentioned it but I've completed my CE points. Haha. I can graduateeee. But I'm pretty worried for my one module. >.< See la, sometimes I can be so worrisome.

2009-02-18T14:48:00.003+08:00

I feel like a real slacker. Poly life's out and no more. Still contemplating whether to further my studies. =/ The application for scholarship is so troublesome and my portfolio is so shitty. Sigh.
Basically now, my days are spent lolling around the house, rolling with April, slump on the bed or sofa, read repeatedly over again the Harry Potter series. Before long, I'll have moved on to LOTR -.- Standard. And play pet society. Hahaha. Then there will be trainings at night.
Btw, Nationals on March 22nd, Sunday. If I can be grant a wish or two, one of them is that my family would come down and watch. Throw in my cellgroup too. Arh wells...

Anyway, I have currently two job offers. More or less confirm I hope. One as an all-rounder designer, another as a project base editor. Both are internships though. And the 2nd one offered a full time contract if my internship's good. But that one's only starting late April. Maybe I'll accept both. Hahaha. Fan naos~

2009-02-17T15:59:00.006+08:00

I'm blogging so sporadically. Haha reason why I'm updating now with the time even to change skin is cause I'm stuck in a boring workshop. Supposedly a scholarship workshop but it's a bit more like resume writing and interviews stuffs. That chap been talking since 8.50am till now. With only an hour or so break. Gosh. My butt's numb already.

Okay now since all my posts recently are so wordy...

here's my big face. Haha.

2009-02-12T12:59:00.004+08:00

Me and Iggy are aspiring poets, me being the better one of course. Past few days, largely inspired by the romantic poet, Solomon, we were reciting our thoughts of love and peace towards each other through bits and pieces of stanza we created.

One day, he started off, "You hair is as long as grass." (wth!?)

Me, catching up, "Your hair is as dry as grass and so fine it shows the whiteness of your scalp." (balding!)
I continued, "Your eyebrows are thick and coarse like ox's hair."

He, inspired suddenly, came out with a, "Your eyebrows are like anchovies."
Now what the fish is anchovies right? I thought it sounds like an organism. In fact, I'm right. It's IKAN BILIS. My eyebrows are like Ikan Bilis!? Creative!

Over the next few days, we let slipped more verses.

Further improving on my eyebrow, "Your eyebrows are flawlessly shaped to your drooping eyebags which seemly caught my attention." ( ~!@#$%^&*)

"Your tummy is as soft as tofu and appears to be 5 months pregnant."

Direct plagiarizing, "My thoughts towards you are like the sand on the beach, thoughts of love and peace."

"My thoughts towards you are like dust in my room" (He complains my room is very dusty and even bought a dehumidifier to suck up the dust in my room recently. And obviously, I'm pissed with that stanza about my eyebags. Sensitive okay.. )

V day's coming. V for Vendetta. Lame.

2009-01-30T12:08:00.003+08:00

Finding a job is hard.
Getting my dream job is even further away.
What's gonna happen...

2009-01-14T13:55:00.005+08:00

My life is not based on my blog or my life as what you see. Those happy moments or sad moments, greatly censored, or just a moment of emo-ing is just but a part of my whole life. It's just probably fragments of leaves on a tree. There's so much more in me, a complication of feelings and emotions, of thoughts that comes and goes, buried away until some forgotten time. Who knows and sees and feel or tries to discern the whole me, branches and trunk and roots....I had this diary, not a single other soul had read it. Not an online journal, but a paper-back book. Where I write down all the saddest, most down moments of my life. It's the kind of moments, when I'm sobbing so hard, face scrunched up so hard I can barely see, blurred by a wall of tears. And my hand shook as I wrote a cascade of feelings. It's those kind of moments when I'm seemly at a breaking point and I can't think, I can't talk, not even to God, to tell Him how I feel, cause it's just sobs. So I write, to siphon off these hurts and this book, is a book of letters to God. Just like God send his angels to collect my tears, which is precious to Him, I record and collect this memories and feelings in hope that one day when His Son returns, I can bring the book to Him, and ask Him, to heal me of these scars. Those saddest moments, I shared alone, with my angel by my side.

2009-01-12T09:46:00.002+08:00

Not updating as often now. FYP's over. But now another thing that's preoccupying me is my CE points and trainings, trainings, trainings.
Arh wells, I'm sort of prepared to pay another sem fees and graduate next year instead. But I'll still try to complete my points by June so I can join SIA. Next Saturday there's a walk-in interview but there's also FYP oral defence. Gosh, I realise how things always crop out at the wrong timing. Perhaps one thing leads to another, starting from my procrastination and the devil tries to add some salt -.- But I shall not missed this interview because I missed one last November already.
Sigh.....I'm still a long way from official adulthood man, erm quite long la, but it seems like the world of my parents, the adults namely, are catching up with me. Here I am worrying about my future. No more schooling and hello to working life. And what if I failed to get to SIA, what's my plan B? I seriously have no idea. Argh! Fan Naos!
And there's trainings too.....from February it's Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday. Oh my tiannnn.......I should kiss my April and thank God I still have Fridays free for cellgroup. Not really a dilemma unlike last year, trying to avoid being shoot by both sides. So I can just focus, one thing at a time. I feel so old......................................

2009-01-03T23:55:00.007+08:00

I'm gonna post some pictures of happenings during the December month that I didn't blog about. Those little things that spice up my mundane holidays as I've said for the umpteen time.

We were back in Kampong B. to do a retake and we saw chicks pecking about freely! Simon caught one and we cuddled it for a while b4 releasing it back to the mum. It was chirping for help real loud throughout!

I'm sure April is missed. Here she is, chewing on Iggy's mint, till the paper stuck to her nose too. She had her hair cut recently too, thus in this photo, u're able to see her eyes.

Me, Iggy, Darren went Haji Lane one of the days with our cousin, Jere and yup, we were pretty fascinated.

What's every post without my face right.....Though it as Iggy's face in it as well..... Anyway, this is on our way for Christmas Candlelight svc...

Speaking of Christmas, giant tree of lights! At Vivo after a Sentosa trip with new e269. We were playing games on the deck and doing forfeits including doing horse stands.
We decked Lester out in Christmas stuffs. I wonder where the cap popped out from. Rainer possibly...
Lame shot...I dunno why...

This is at the JW church, Rivera. Waiting for Iggy to knock off work, was tagging along while he checked the lights at church.
Wells, anyway this is Superdog's Chilli Cheese beef fries. Super Nice!!!! Heavenly! On New Year's Day, with Iggy..

We watched Bedtime Stories. I want a Guinea pig now. Oh, I want chicks too. Maybe I should include a sheep and a pony, cows....etc.. Why dun we just build and live in a farm?

Hahaha. Eh meant to put a last picture of myself, but have none. See, I'm too focus on FYP. Thus, ended.

2009-01-02T13:26:00.006+08:00

It's a new year! But I still seems to be living in 2008. It's probably the weird poly schedule. I'm still a year 3 student, in the midst of the 2nd semester. Anyway, I'm not updating often because I really have nothing to post. Everyday is just FYP and editing. It's like the constant thing on my mind, I didn't really take a breather and enjoy the celebrations. But still there's small little things that add some life into my mundane December.

So since it's new year, everyone sure have new year resolutions and wishes and a thank you post for times in 2008. I shall have one too.

Oh gosh, this is hard to write, I backspaced entire paragraphs 2 times already. Argh. Ok Okay, one more time..

I love my family because it's my family. You have to be me to know why. How can words describe my family right? 19 years of my life man.
I love my fat, mildly obese Iggy. He's flabby, bouncy tummy, small eyes, flat nose, pock face, not the best attractive, kissable lips. Haha. He's my hamster! I mentioned once I want to have 2 dogs, 1 cat, and a few hamsters in my house next time. But after much consideration, I think I do not need hamsters, I have one right now, a huge one! Much as horrible looking I make him sound, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder okay. I love everything about him. I must be the most meanest, fussy, irritating, whiny, abusive, selfish, childish girlfriend ever. But he's ever so sweet and patient. I love you! ^^
Okay talking about fat hamster, I love April too though she's like me, irritating, whiny and abusive. Hahaha. Snuggles.
I love my cellgroup, weirdest and funny bunch of people. They are indescribable. Well, you have to be me to know why too. 4 years of my life, the 2nd longest amount of time I spent with a group of people. Some of them have seen me through my good times and bad times, listened to my screwed up stories =) Each and everyone of us has certain irritating flaws that can get us pissed off at times but well, the love of God is always stronger.
I thank God for my FYP teammates too. Just like the saying goes, your future spouse will make your life on earth either heaven or hell, I think so goes for FYP teammates too, for this period of time. I may grumble about doing FYP everyday, but then if not for them, it's probably much worst. Some of them might pissed me off at times, but they're really fun people too be with too. Today is the last day of FYP editing btw. Monday's submission! Woots!
I love Rexaz too. A kaleidoscope of feelings, but what it has given me..how could I not appreciate. It shaped my life in a way. Looking at the big picture, I think it's all meant to be. God ways are above all my ways, He sees and plans things in a bigger picture.

Okay, this is too long. I shall post my resolutions another day.

2008-12-21T12:46:00.003+08:00

Holidays ain't like one. Almost everyday got to go back school for FYP-ing. It's the last leg though. And I miss Iggy like the entire week I only get to meet him only on Friday onwards and for a while only at that. And also because he went down to accompany me, I was doing my FYP and having training. Stayed over and early today he have to leave for work already. Sigh...What a hectic week. I wish he will forever be there. Coming week is Christmas week and thank God for the many breaks.

I still have not complete my CE points. What if I can't graduate in time, sigh......mushy day.

Lazy to pose more interesting stuffs.

2008-12-09T14:12:00.008+08:00

I'm feeling so cramp-ified I didn't go school again. Oh gosh. The feeling sucks. But then I remembered later got training also. So in the end I still have to go back to school today. Ok la, I'm still excited for trainings!

Anyway the long weekend is spent entirely with my family. Sunday, went Bugis with my family minus my elder brother, as usual. So first up we went to eat at this weird place called V8. Sounds alien. Food there's not really great too.

This weirdo drink, doesn't taste any good..

Cesar salad. Surprise, surprise- I like this dish best
See, hahahah, disgusting larrr.. But I have to show Iggy I eat vegetable okay.
Then I ate this weird citrus dory fish thingy. Super watered down lor. Haiya! not ncie one la. Over-rated by my brother and mum.

Then later, we went shopping! hahaha. I'm so happy. Previously, I lost my favourite yellow one, from Wacoal (I dunno how I lost can!) and that cost $64 alone lor! Super comfy and fitting. Psst, for my size very hard to fun exact fit can....I was so sad I cried and tell my mum I want new bras and wish granted. So I bought 3 bras for $95- ouch! But its from Wacoal too, and on sales, 20%. So it's pretty worth it. One for $30 plus can. Anyway, it's really nice, I like. Any fitting too! Hahaha. Okay enough of bras. Whole day was just eat, shop, walk, eat.

The next day, Hari Raya Haji- Monday. Went out with my extended family from my father's side. Main plan was to visit my Ah Kong's niche. We booked a mini van and drove down to Mandai. Before that stopped at some Roti Prata store to have lunch. Also not very nice la. My father was driving, hahaha. Horrible, omgosh! Bouncing away lor. Thank God my uncle took over later.
Ya, so was missing Ah Kong, sort of sad, remember the weird things he did when he was over at our place. And my dad's constant joke in the past, that one day I will come back home from school to find April in a pot. Hahaha. Really cute. He was really really old. reaching a 100. So he lived to a ripe age, though he couldn't recognize most of us by that time and was like a child. It was a tender moment there. Then we decided later on, went to this place called Marina Barrage, Singapore's new reservoir I think. Pretty boring la. Not romantic. My mum was asking would I even want to bring Iggy here -.-

It's pretty scenic though. This the open sea, I'm facing.

The reservoir. See the water colour difference.
I'm standing on the pier. It's super cold and windy that day.
There's a rooftop and it's a nice view...
That's my uncle and my dad and brothers
I didn't take alot of pictures. There was my aunts and other cousins and grandma.. It was really a whole day with them. Had steamboat dinner at Tiong Bahru. Dreamt about owning a old house there with Iggy. Drive down to Orchard to see the lights.
Well, and that's all. Drove home, Uncle dropped everyone off. Dunno what happen to the van in the end. But it's nice to just to rent a van, squeeze inside and like drive up and down the city. Warm, fuzzy feeling =)

2008-12-05T13:20:00.003+08:00

Websites says: If you have a weak ankle, flex the toes of your foot apart and touch them to the top of your shoe. This will lock out your ankle and keep it from wiggling.

And I should wrap mine like dumplings too....

Hmmm...let's try again.

My motivation meter's dropping like rapidly. I shall go watch some youtube videos now. Find some inspiration back. Haa..

2008-12-05T00:30:00.003+08:00

When the stage is bare tonight
there's no one else
just You and me
When the curtains close behind
there's no pretense
I'm on my knees

I will lay down my life
for the love sacrifice
You gave to me
It's all because of You
It's all because of You

The God I know
righteous and holy
The God I know
is faithful and true
The God I know
a tower of refuge
Hearts are healed
Christ revealed

The God I know
light of this city
The God I know
strengthens the weak
The God I know
is strong and mighty
As He is, so are we

-

I'm feeling really sad.
A sorrow so deep I can't remember has it gone ever worst.
In a way, such that there's no point where I can look back and say 'this is nothing compared to what I felt before.'
Maybe it's just for now.
But there's no other words to describe this feeling.
It's just.....sad.
No mixed feelings.

This is my cry,
my one desire...

2008-12-02T10:26:00.003+08:00

I didn't realize it was December already. I still thought it was November. But anyway, feeling pretty stressed cause I still left a number of CE points left. I need 8 more Diploma related. Should be able to complete I hope...

5 Dec- Japan Media Art Festival @ Singapore Art Museum
1o Dec- IT help desk services talk
16 Dec- Theater workshop thingy @ TRCC
7-10 Jan- Open House

I hope all will earn me enough points. Haha. See la Jo`, procrastinate some more. Sigh.

Haha, should I work at Mac anyway? Suddenly inspired to work there from what Fuzzy say. I mean, the pay not attractive la but the experience seems great. For fun lor...Hahaha. Lame. I'm still feeling stressed over CE stuffs.

2008-11-30T21:41:00.003+08:00

I'm not kidding when I said I dreamt of Apple Crumble and TomYam Seaweeds.

And at the end of a long Saturday, Iggy whipped out a Tom Yam Seaweed, big packet! Hee! ^^

2008-11-30T20:41:00.001+08:00

A day at Pasir Ris Beach, again....Iggy stayed-over. Cabbed home from Bukit Batok back to Pasir Ris, detouring to Sembawang along the way, after Iggy's grandpa birthday celebration. I was sleeping most of the ride and it was such a nice feeling. Anyway, I went to one of his aunt's place at The Linear Condo and it is so nice laaa...I wanna design my own house nice nice too!

Iggy loves fishes. So he loves Long Kangs too.

Darren went along. He just learnt to cycle not long. Good job!

As always, I'm the one lazing about.

Darren led the way

While I wobbled Iggy at the back, standing and sitting down again and again.

We nearing the sea...

We're making for the docks.

There, reached...It's a very solitary place. Very peaceful.

Breathing it in...

End.

2008-11-25T09:30:00.011+08:00

I set up the Christmas tree! Yeah!! I'm so excited, I'm gonna prepare a Christmas dinner for dearest Iggy and if he gives the thumbs up, I'm gonna prepare for my dearest friends and cellgroup too. It's my family's Christmas Specialty okay!

My family's ancient tree

Baubles, lights and ribbons

Guess what this is?The fish tank! Swimming among lights.April under the tree. Crawls away...to bed..Aww..

2008-11-23T17:53:00.018+08:00

Asia Conference. It feels pretty much like Emerge, just much more packed, packed, packed! And awesome! So many people, my gosh. I sat in the overflow room throughout, sad. Sigh. But still it was quite a sight to behold, so many people lifting their hands and singing. The chorus of voices in the overflow room was so overwhelming. I listened more than I sang myself. It's so beautiful.

The Church and the World outside, preparation and time, ministering in the marketplace.. I know it's the word in season for me! I need to grow out of my old mindset. (How many times have I said this?) Not that passive girl that prefers to depend on others and fear people.

Anyway, finally, Asia Conference's performance down. One thing less. Pretty relief and yet, I hope to be able to perform with them one day again. Fun and loving people. Just different when you know everyone's motivation is shining for God. Here's some photos and snippets of the few months we trained together.

Cheng Cheng, who was the one who dislocated his elbow. He became our flag carrier. That's Raymond, so gay(happy). He drives at 140 km/h on expressway. They're from SP Gusto.This is Joshua..caught eating with his mouth full. The 2nd person after Gary to eat my shoe. From MF.

KG who requested for makeup, to cover mainly his pimples. His eyebags are comparable to mine. Just to let you know, his business folded due to melamine detection. It was the Kong Guan Biscuits Ptd. Ltd. It happened during these few months of training together. But such faith has he that he remained joyful throughout and proclaimed he'll set up another business soon. Haha.

Kim Wei and Kong Guan after makeup. Horrendously fair! Hahaha. KG's actual name is Kit Guan but we conveniently forget and named him hereafter, Kong Guan. Btw, that business thingy above mentioned is not real. Haha. Kim Wei kanna chicken pox recently leaving him scars that wants him using my concealer. Kim Wei's from Spectrum.

Me and Vanessa from SP Gusto on Joseph with that classic Rexaz pose left behind by Adrian. Anyway, they say me and Van look alike. Do we?

Closer up. She's really a nice person. =) So caring and sweet.

Me and Lynn!!! People mistaken us often too. They thought we're sisters. Looks like I look like alot of people!

Haha. I stole the shot.

Us girls. I wonder if anyone remembered the girl at the extreme right. Back in Nationals day, Iggy was snapped in a photo looking at this girl and I kept on harping on it. It was she, Charis. Haha. Iggy, Joseph and Jacob could not stop making fun of her. But she's really nice, always laughing. I hereby announce that my 2nd name from today onwards is Joanna Demure Chin. Hahaha.

And here is Joseph fetish with Teddy-Bear, classic.

Me and Lynn do that pose.

Us 4....Oooooo. I love the time spent.

My group of bases. I'm so happy that I got all the mad people, I love!

Finally, us all. Euphoria with Malaysia's Mint!

The End. Wonderful Memories. Love them all!
P.S Did I mentioned the uniform was designed by me? ^^
P.P.S Special thanks to Mei Xuan and Harry who came down specially, was really surprised and touched ^^.

2008-11-18T09:56:00.008+08:00

Know my recent post is so flotsam and jetsam. Bits and pieces. It's random thoughts type out, not particularly meaning much because it's just rants. But sort of sorted out what the hell am I thinking.

I could bring God wherever I go. God dwells in me and everywhere. He's not limited to just the church. This nationals, the difference would be I have God with me. As I'd said, I've sort of sorted out the thoughts in my heads- mainly the disapproval I might face is eating in me and I got kind of angry with myself.. for my wavering decision, afraid of this and that, and what people would say and think. Try to blame others along the way for not understanding. But it's all quite nonsensical because no1 has yet to reject and it's really just me thinking too much. Perhaps, the past experience caused me to fear.
But I've decided, firmly, and I prayed and know that God's with me. He will follow and lead my way through the whole nationals period. *Peace sign*. And I know, I will still have time for the cell group, my vision still holds for them. Maybe time would be tight, but I guess it's really how I can maximize the time to bring forth what I have and need to do. I know God will provide me the wisdom. Haha. Erm. Inside joke.

So I kind of understand what I'm typing the past few days. Haha. I got angry for no apparent reason at anybody. Not outwardly but inwardly. I never usually show temper or give black face even though I'm really in a freaking bad mood. But Iggy got most of it cuz I only show him though it has nothing to do with him most of the time. Haha. But he's so nice, he understand........ ^^ I love you!!

p/s: Thank you, Gab too...You know why... =)

2008-11-16T22:44:00.006+08:00

I cannot leave just yet, now that it has come to this.

At this time, perhaps the fire would burn even stronger, the people would rise up to take their place and push themselves to cover up the lack. Right now, it could all seems hopeless, for strength is gone and talent is wasted, but all this can be build up if we do not despair and doubt ourselves. At this point of time, it is when we must prove things otherwise.

And now that it has come to this...

The sense of responsibility.. to make things right, for every wrong that I've made in the previous would be set straight again. It is not guilt or what some might say, 'bout it tying me down and stuffs. But I want to, and want to be a good finisher. My last year should be the best I can be and perfect to what I can do.

Perhaps not for others. But I will go where others would not.

Now it has come to this...

I will follow you where you go, to where you put me, I will not abandon and I will not be selfish. I keep my human nature check to see the best of others shine and the team would be a legacy in future come.

A team will not die just because it was trusted in wrong or not good enough hands. It would die only if the hands can't be bothered anymore and live only for themselves.

2008-11-15T18:36:00.005+08:00

I got nothing much to say except that I'm tired, sleepy, lethargic, moody and feeling extremely screwed up.

Everyone is in their own world,
busy with their life.
Not thought of and needed
unless it be getting things done.
I know nothing 'bout your life,
and you know nuts 'bout mine either.
Just random snippets of more interesting events
that we share and can't seem to catch.
If one day, I fell and hit my head,
crack my neck and break my back,
dislocate my elbow and sprain my ankle,
would you ever know?
Would you even care, if I succeed
in a back tuck, front tuck,
fly bird, layout and all that terms
that I came to love, and you know nothing 'bout.
Cuz that's my stuff outside.
My world.

Talk is cheap.

2008-11-14T14:22:00.005+08:00

I didn't go school today.....can't wake up again. Was pretty tired. Seems like a long time seems we've trained till 11pm. Was thinking so much on the long way home. And I got kind of discouraged. Can't see far, pretty negative... Heavy on my shoulders, weighing me down, those kind of things. But then I started to think of God and the limitless things I can do for Him. Envisioned myself doing more, changing mindset, shaping life....sort of feel better.

I've been listening to New Age songs, haha. Thanks to Simon....Seems retarded and sleepy but pretty uplifting still. That soaring feeling..

2008-11-13T13:51:00.004+08:00

This is so suay. Supposed to have an outdoor shoot yesterday but it was raining heavily so filming is cancelled. Then we got to lug back those heavy equipment to boss's house in the heavy rain either way. So we decided to take a cab back and it was a ripped off lor. Alissa's house was like just a 10 minute walk away from school and the cab fare cost freaking $13 plus. There's a surcharge of like $9++ because it's those bigger cabs. But the cab driver said it's just 40cents different from the normal. What he didn't tell us is, if we have more than 4 people, the surcharge applies. Pfffft.
Then later, unloading equipments.. I was carrying two tripods, one Canon DSLR, one Panasonic camera, one boom mic..I slipped and fell.
Now, sad thing the equipments are like of higher value, can't afford to pay them up. So just cant chuck it aside and save my life for nuts with my hands full. Argh, so just fall lor. Still fall into the drain some more. Argh!! Fall inside the drain with so many things hanging off me is more pai seh leh. Look like idiot kneeling down there and hands full, calling for help to lift me up cause I can't stand up with all the extra weight on me. Lame!!!!! My entire left leg was already abit screwed up and is more screwed now. Feels like I've been eating ice-cream and my joints there are absorbing it. Cold weather kills me.

2008-11-12T21:50:00.004+08:00

Maybe you wondered, why is everything going so wrong? Every step you take is so tough? And you thought, you wonder where is God and what is He doing?
God didn't promise us that when we got saved that life would be a bed of roses. In fact I think, the bible mentioned that we have lots of trials and tribulation to come. (1st Peter 4:10) Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. Going through valleys is nothing strange!
In fact Job got it hard. He lost his entire possession, family, loved ones, and was so sick himself! Sons and daughters killed, and pus all over his body- who wants that?? God allow the devil to tempt Job but he held steadfast, knowing God will never forsake him. How strong is that kind of love and trust? Even I do not dare say I would hold up long.

But (1st cor. 10:13) No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
Trials developed your character, it pushes your endurance, it test your faith in God. How would you react in times of such storm? Get really angry with God and curse Him? Or do you grab hold of Him with such tenacity, such fierceness, nothing can shake you off? During difficult times, it is time when you are brought to rely more on His staff, to draw closer to Him. Those times, you build your relationship with God.

Maybe you need to rebuild your altar to God, perhaps you've been drifting away..Many times, I've returned to this altar, so broken. I pushed God away so many times. I've hide away from the many opportunities and chances that God has given me. Many times I did my own stuffs and get hurt, get so disappointed. Life's a mess, I say! Trials could be a time when God is setting things in order, setting our lives back on track. (John 16:33) I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. For (James 1:12) Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. God sees and knows your pain. Keep on trusting........................

2008-11-12T18:00:00.008+08:00

Er hem. I couldn't wake up for school this week's Monday, meaning...Yup, anyway....

We had spaghetti for lunch

With chicken and mushroom cream soup

Tossed with olive oil and whatnot. I just anyhow take out some norm spices..

..and leave it to chef Iggy to use the little ingredients to his creativity..

..while I re-read my LOTR book for the umpteen time.

I ain't that bad. I prepared some vodka and 7up, his favorite combo.
Served chilled.

So the coffee table was set for 3. (Includes Darren, who played games during the process and offer to wash the dishes after that. Heh heh.)

Looks pretty appetizing...

April stares at us. I think she is. Can't see her eyes anymore.

I tortured Iggy at the end of the day. No facial. I plucked his brows instead. Muahahaha...I covered up his nose trails which was originally in full view.

We brought April down for a walk and later settle underneath the void deck to cut her hair. I can see her eye now. Not bad- I think Iggy and I are set to open our pet shop. Haha. =)

2008-11-11T15:35:00.003+08:00

I just feel like blogging.

My heart is beating in trepidation even as I'm writing these down. The future never seems so near. It's like another 3 months so and I'm done. One chapter of my life closed and another starting- starting in the marketplace, in what all adults called the real world. I mean, planning about it, dreaming about it, it's totally different. I am very nervous on what's to come. And, there's God, there's cellgroup, there's Iggy.....A whole lifetime I cannot imagine, I cannot fathom. Such great dreams and visions, you know. And yet the sense of, "It's coming. No longer just a dream. It's for real."

I was pretty passive and whatnot. Now that a greater part of the long-time members, that has been with me ever since I stepped into church 3 years ago, have been transferred out, I really feel like there's no more to it. No more excuses, no more procrastination that someone else can and will do it. There's greater and real responsibilities on me, and with actual lives in my hands. Day by day, I'm growing more in love, more inspired, more motivated to do things for God. And no longer for myself. Perhaps why life is made much more difficult for me is because I cannot, in Chinese saying: One leg step two bed (in direct translation, ha ha) Okay my Chinese suck. But anyway, ya, I can't. I've pushed God away too many times. Did it my way for too long. No more!
My priority, my focus: My God. I'm gonna start over.

2008-11-11T12:17:00.003+08:00

As much as I try to block out my mind to my desires, it's hard to be an angel for I am, really just a human. And like any other, thinks about one's needs & wants.

But now, it feels like it doesn't matters anymore. For whatever anyone says, good or bad, I know I'm no longer as good as I wished I was. And I dunno why. I really tried.

It's so much so, I came to a point, I wanna give it all up. No more dilemma, no more disappointments. Though it would really wrench my heart.

For I love it.

2008-11-07T08:56:00.003+08:00

So sometimes you do wonder, how come it's so unfair, why is it like this, i don't like it. Maybe sometimes you ought to think that, at your temporary inconvenience the changes are there to make it more convenient for many other people. I thought through it, probably it's that way so that more people will be blessed rather than me just being selfish.

I was encouraged too, Rena. Thanks for sharing this. =) May it encourage others too here. When things go wrong as they sometimes will, when the road you're trudging seems all up hill. When funds are low and the debts are high, you want to smile, but you have to sigh. When care is pressing you down a bit, rest, if you must, but don't you quit. Don't give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed with another blow. You never can tell how close you are. It may be near when it seems so far. So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit for it's when things seem worst that you must not QUIT.

2008-11-06T11:21:00.003+08:00

I waited more than an hour for my laptop to start up. Gosh! I thought my laptop died or something, like fail to boot. Give me the scares. I was already preparing to pack up, change and send it to the school hospital, which is quite hopeless. Or as Simon puts it 'IT Helpass'. -.-" Hahaha. But I'm more hopeless than them in stuffs like this. Arh, anyway I know all he wants is my Secondhand Serenade songs. I hope my laptop is fine now, I will die if it takes an hour to start up everyday. Currently scanning it for viruses again. Who knows. Sigh, maybe should let it die and reformat it. Okay, think I better backup my stuffs first.

P.S Iggy bought me a mouse! Yeaah!=) Thanks dearest, makes playing game easier. Haha.

2008-11-03T14:10:00.003+08:00

I got 1944 threats found on my laptop! No wonder my laptop is so lag! Argh! Do not use Symentic Antivirus, I promise. It's not working at all. 1944 threats! Not a single detection! God knows how long it has been going on. I got so fed up today with my laptop hanging and lagging nuts time, I got a little suspicious and download AVG. And here's what I got. Bad!

Oh wait...AVG has not finished scanning yet. I accidentally paused it. Freak! How much more virus would be detected?

2008-11-03T09:08:00.006+08:00

Headache. I can't wake up today. Reached school at 9am. I took 15 minutes to prepare and leave the house. But I did brush my teeth. Haha. So tired...

Anyway, I'm slacking now. Got nothing to do, just need to do up a pitch and show some footage of our advertisement. Today 3rd meeting starting at 12.30pm, so meaning today will end class duper early too.

Iggy had a new haircut too. I like. Same as mine. That weird fringe we have, hee.

That day, I bought a new bag pack too. Yeahh...Conclusion was, it was a happy day. Iggy cycled from my house to Tampines. Cut his hair, bought my bag, got his spray and cycle back. Then we had facial. Pictures too ugly to post up. I dun dare. Haha. The day Iggy comes, is also April smells nice day. Next up, let's throw April into the pool okay??

I love building God's house!

2008-11-02T14:42:00.008+08:00

I was feeling stuck, stagnated and dry. I was just going through the motions, engines running on their own, albeit a bit rusty. It's like everything I do, is wrong. Either way, wherever I go, I'm gonna pull everything down. I'm not as good as anyone thinks, and I'm going downhill. At one moment of time, I thought I lost it all and my time is over....I feel so terrible. Where am I? Where have I gone too?

Building Fund has started. I will be stretch and my capacity will be widen, my limits be pushed. It's gonna be a breakthrough for me.Even as I pledged, I felt overwhelming love and peace, promise of the hand of God in the things I do. This sudden burst of power that would take me past the previous point of resistance, a breakthrough. This building fund, I wanna experience God like never before. I'm a reflection of God, made after the image of Him, I live to manifest his word.

And I'm gonna fly
high above the clouds.
Riding the sky
lifting Your glory.

2008-10-30T00:43:00.002+08:00

More production photos:

In the house

Mother and Daughter sceneBreak time. The Kampong is so ulu we have to travel out a good 2o minutes to get food.

Me and boss. The director. Haha.

Humongous mosquitoes. That lump isn't my elbow btw. It's a freaking mosquito bite.

Kampong alleyway

Setting up on scene

Assistant Director wanna be the anonymous killer in almost every scene.

We haven't add the blood.

Flock of birds on electrical lines.
Crowding together for a previewSunset in K.BuangkokEnd.

2008-10-29T23:31:00.005+08:00

Photos:

Entrance to the kampong. Super tek glam. Look more like dumpster I know.

We rent this house for production. Looks pretty cosy. But it's freaky humid. Can't use the electricity.

Pretty! Gate to another house. Belongs to the richer folks possibly.
Others don't seem that good..

Not really clear but there's a cluster of bites and random ones here and there all over just on my feet alone.

The bites are humongous too. It was worst than shown in pictures.More photos soon..

2008-10-29T12:15:00.006+08:00

Finally.......after two days of intense FYP-ing, I'm resting at home now. Feels good to wake up a bit later and eat proper breakfast, take my own sweet time etc. etc.
Filming at Kampong Buangkok was really like a mad rush, rushing to load in equipments, rushing to pick up cast, rushing to set up equipments, rushing to dismantle it and transporting it to another part of the village...
At the end of the day, towards night, we're rushing against time before everything gets too dark. We can't use the heavy red heads lights cause apparently we felt it would short circuit the entire village as it did to the school office. So we got to finish up everything by 7pm.
I kept shouting out the Iris countdown. Iris is a function on camera that you can adjust to brighten what the camera captures or darken. So from a maximum closed Iris of 16, we jumped as time progress to 11, to 9.6, to 8.0, to 5.4!, to 2.4!, 2.0 and a fully open Iris. We finished just on time and it ends our intensive filming days at Buangkok. Whew.

Yesterday upon reaching home, I do a thorough body examination and counted a grand total of 73 mosquito bites! You can never stay still in a place too long there. 1 minute standing still in a place to hold a camera angle and I received 8 mosquito bites. Overall, being at Kampong Buangkok is really like being cut off from the world. Feels like I'm overseas for a few days. Miss Iggy alot too. Great sigh of relief..................tomorrow, back to school to do post production- editing. Man!

2008-10-27T22:01:00.004+08:00

It was an itchy and sticky FYP affair. I counted 8 mosquito/sand flies/whatever insects bites on my feet and arm EACH. Not adding in the other miscellaneous ones spotted all over the rest of my body. Altogether I think I have 30 over bites. That place is infested with mosquitoes and I'm going back tomorrow to feed them again. I was shredding myself to pieces during filming and apparently I'm very allergic to their saliva. The bites swelled up to a record size like my big toe. I was so lumpy throughout production and I disgusted everybody by poking and squeezing the bites. Haaa...

Sigh...Had only 2 hours of sleep the previous night. Am so tired now....gonna have an early sleep. My poor baby April is so deprived of me. But before everything....I have a special something for a special someone.

Never would I have imagine a day
when we would have to separate.
It had never crossed my mind
that we would have to part our ways.
Remembered what we used to say
to grow together till we're old.

You were there when I first step in
somehow or other, we seemed to click.
A new journey starts for us as friends.

Time goes with ups and downs that we ride,
obstacles and challenges we have to faced.
Sometimes, we did silly things
to anger each other and fight for a bit.
But as a friend, you were always frank,
I came to see it as molding me to be a better person.

My walk with God will always have you,
for you were there at the beginning with me.
Those moments imprint in my mind and heart.
Time might slowly pull us far and away
but memories and love will forever remain
Those special thoughts and moments I had with you.

2008-10-26T21:06:00.007+08:00

I'm going out again later in the night. Sigh.........no sleep + tomorrow FYP filming for the whole day and the next day after. And then A.C training and then editing all throughout the week. There goes my one week break. Sigh....Speaking of Asia Conference, just came back from rehearsals. All was well, till the end. Don't know what happened but suddenly everybody rushed over to Chen Chen. Seems like he attempted backtuck and landed on his side. Entire elbow was out of place. I nearly puke, looks so grotesque. Gosh, pray he'll be fine...

Oh sigh.....again. Hai.....one more time.

People past who pledged
people's people, hear their voice
and be their voice.
Who are we I wanna ask
the DNA we are brought up with.

Do you see and hear what they say?
Have you felt and understand their place?
Do you remember your once upon a time?

We want to share this danger we felt.
But with all due respect,
we are gone.
You got wings and learn to fly.

2008-10-24T10:18:00.005+08:00

I was frigging late for school today. Reached at 9.20am. There was a massive jam starting way before Punggol flyover. 38574610 kilometers down the expressway, I saw the cause of the jam. A stupid equally massive Night Safari bus, which of all places, breakdown in the middle of an expressway AND at rush hour too. Rawr! I hate jams! I dun even like the fruit jams! =/ Okay. Not funny. Moving on...

I'm thinking of setting up a blogshop. Got quite a number of clothes in my wardrobe that I dun wear anymore, or dun wear at all. Quite a waste of money to throw it all away. It's all in good condition eh. Maybe apart from that can get suppliers for other stocks to sell. Or could sell my photoshop skills, design websites yadah yadah... Think it's a good idea? Need more sources of income and it's not really time consuming. Accepting another tuition assignment would probably kill me though. Two kids is enough. Hmmm. I'll never know if I never try...If the response good, why not eh? Hehe.

2008-10-22T23:11:00.008+08:00

Messages from Water- Dr. Masaru Emoto

Snow has been falling on the earth for more than a few million years. And each snowflake, has a very unique shape and structure. There's never a same snowflake.

Dr. Masaru Emoto discovered that the crystal structures of water from different sources and different conditions around the planet affect their shapes.

Water from pristine mountain streams and springs show beautifully formed geometric designs in their crystalline patterns as seen below in 1 and 2. Polluted and toxic water show definitively distorted and randomly formed crystalline structures like in 3.

From left: Shimanto river, Lourdes River, Biwako River.

Further research on the kind of music on water is exposed to produce fascinating results too.

From left: Bach's Air for G string, Beethoven's Pastoral, Japanese folk music

Above: Heavy metal music, Chopin's farewell song
Couldn't find picture of Elvis' heartbreak hotel. But the crystals formed were split into two.

Thus, what if water, the medium of all life, were sensitive to our thoughts and words? Does that mean that our life is shaped by thoughts and words too? After all, more than 70% of our body are filled with water.

These crystals are formed by saying words of affirmation- to the water!

From clockwise: words of appreciation, thankfulness, gratitude, wisdom, love, world

Likewise saying words like "You make me sick!", "Adolf Hitler", "Satan" produces the following:

How intriguing....

Water represents life
Water represents Holy Spirit

It's all in me...

2008-10-21T09:38:00.009+08:00

G301 Project team. Woots, so far so good. Having fun.God is really good. We got a great team together.

I missed last Sunday rehearsal. Pastor Aries and all were there. Kind of sad. Cause production was delayed due to rain and worst still when it ended at 7, I couldn't flag down a cab. I walked and walked from GEYLANG LORONG 18 to KALLANG! Kind of nice place to wait for a cab ya.. It was really freaky to be stared at by those argh! uncles and women with half their boobs hanging out.. I felt so unprotected. I finally gave up and boarded a bus at 8pm (waiting for near an hour!) by which time rehearsal had ended. Then I realised, quite late, I boarded the wrong side. Like hey, I'm unfamiliar with that area and what with all those lecherous people staring, I just jumped onto the first bus I saw that I know could lead back to Pasir Ris and home. I was all the way at Balestier when I realised and by which time I sobbing badly and screaming at Iggy over the phone. I managed to hail down a cab there and cabbed home. What a miserable ending for a day.

Yesterday I freaked out when they told me this coming week there will be another rehearsal. This time with Pastor Kong coming down personally to view it. I got FYP filming again too and definitely I'm not going to make it cause there's evening scenes. Gosh I was in such a dilemma. And then I remembered, one of the main lead seemed to say the previous week that she has something on this Sunday. It turns out, I think, to be she mistook the schedule to be that she only have a scene on the following Monday. And that another teammate mistakenly affirmed she got scenes only on Monday too. With a glimmer of hope, I told Alissa to check with the cast again and PRAISE THE LORD! It was rescheduled and I'm free for rehearsals!!! HAHAHA. It's God's miracle! Sings*I love ya, I love ya, I love ya, doo-dodododo-dodo-doo-dodo, I will follow you....

Okay, end of long and messy, probably intelligible post.

2008-10-17T08:42:00.005+08:00

One

Two

Three

Smoooochhh...Muahaha. She's forced to by strangulation. Eh! no, I'm lying. She loves me truly.

And I wanna show you guys a very disturbing picture of April.
Warning! Rated NC16.
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Tadahh!!! April's classic position! Hahahaha. Show all her undersides! Tsk tsk!

The end! Haha!

2008-10-14T09:52:00.010+08:00

I can't help but vandalized April. She really look so Ah Beng lor.

I'm happy daddy was surprised the day before. Bet he's kinda glad and touch. Simple it was. An ice cream from an ice cream van. I was on my way home and I had already passed the van. Then on the spur of moment, ran back and bought a strawberry ripple with bread and rushed back home with laptop, wallet and all my hands full. Daddy rewarded me with a peck on my head. I remember as a kid my daddy would always pass me money to run down to those moving ice cream vans and carts to get ice cream. His combination would always be with bread. I'm a happy girl =) Sigh.

Been spending so much time away from home, so many things and all but it makes me treasure things more.

Oh, exciting happenings yesterday during a.c training. My gosh. We were rehearsing 2-2-1 and suddenly there was screeching of tires and brakes and then a loud 'boom' and then a second crash from over the road. Now immediately my mind switched to many cars piling up and bloodied ppl. I know I'm super imaginative. But it's really that LOUD. Now, Su and Jesse was staring down and up each other up in 2-2-1. Jesse got a look of abject terror throughout. And me and Van, still holding on to Su, were looking back in the direction the road. Then came Joshua's nasal voice, ''concentrate'' and we turned back to the front and continued timing and down popped. Haha. Then all the squad ran off to the roadside with Jesse calling the police some more. Turned out that a car hit some safety barrier and mounted a curb. No one's hurt. For all our big reaction. It sounded scary though. Really loud man. But it's funny thinking back, all our reaction. Haaa..

Ok, back to FYPing.

2008-10-13T10:23:00.010+08:00

Mummy bought 2 bottles of perfume for me out of the blue. I'm like 'huh?' I seldom use perfume, I had tons of deodorant though. Trainings ma. Anyway both bottles cost about $60 altogether and I give an even louder 'HUH!?'. But according to my mum and affirmation from Iggy, $60 is considered cheap for just 1 good perfume. Anyway, bottom line of story is 'thanks mummy for splurging on me.' :)

Yves Saint Lauren

Flower by Kenzo

Iggy loves the Kenzo perfume and couldn't stop sniffing it. I have a feeling my sample size one will be sniffed finished instead of being spritz. Iggy and his weird antics, I like =P

Loves for life

2008-10-10T12:49:00.007+08:00

Today is a slack slack day. I pon school, more of overslept. First X. For Lum Foong's class worst still. Got 2 Ds already.
Anyway, my daddy bought a new sound system. Look's pretty cool and hi-tech. Though I feel that the old hi-fi would be worth lots of money since it's so antique and still good. The bass is like woah! April can almost bounce off the walls.
And, and dearest Rich bought a twin heart locket necklaces for both of us. I think it's so beautiful. =) Thanks darling!!

And outdated pictures....

One day, Iggy came over and I decided to do a facial for him.

Haha..That was spastic.

See, his face is already rosy!

I used Bio-Essence full range of products on him.

There's even the 24k gold.

Random April pops up

I think I need a new camera? It's pretty old really. Not really sharp anymore. Survive for like 5 years already. And did I mention I finally wrote a complain letter to Sony Ericsson? They send me an automated reply telling me my inquiry is reference no. 70plusplusplusplus. Hurmph!

2008-10-06T00:08:00.002+08:00

I just came back. A quick post before I take a bathe and turn in for the night. Tomorrow still got school.

A.C training was really fruitful I think. First half was done today. I felt great. And I got orh ba kahs on my hand! So happy, in a way. Haha. I always like orh ba kahs I dunno why. Being mid base is fun. Suzanna was really zai! The satisfaction of catching her was so shiok! Maybe that's why Serina's heart always thumps and with excitement after a good one. I can't wait for next half. And my back's feeling good too :)

No, guess not..the passion's not gone. Just need to catch back the feeling of being in the team.

2008-10-03T18:24:00.004+08:00

A quick quick post before cellgroup. And welll, as you can see, up till the previous post, I'm still try to convince myself. Let the obvious be stated then. No use denying it. A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways. Yup, I must make a stand and be firm. I say: I love cheer and I won't give up! Yes sahhhh!!!!
Arh wells..anybody would get a little bit sensitive, a little bit emotional, a little bit overwhelmed at points of time in life. And what they need would probably be a little bit of understanding, a little bit of wise words, a little assurance.
I think in the areas of friendship, defining it is a little hard. Friendship is pretty ambiguous. How do I put it? Hmm, it's like a someone that pulled you out of an abyss...and that moment is forever define, a connection in that moment with that someone which shares something special others won't have. So how do you define that someone- that perhaps could be a lover, a stranger, a best friend or an acquaintance, just anyone? Anyhow, I love Sarah! I seriously seriously really do. Thanks babe! :)
That done and said. I feel pretty refreshed. Aw wells....like I say there's moments when we're a little blind to everything and throw a pity party; and times when we feel pretty enlighten!

2008-10-03T12:11:00.004+08:00

It's a rainy day today. I got another D for Lum Foong's class. Again. Arh wells, score better for my UTs then, no ponning too. Somehow dun really have the 'motivation' to 'fight'(for lack of better words) back. Gave some smart-alec answers that get him generating more thoughts and questions and directing it to other people. Sigh....what mood is this call? Laid-back?? Nah, I'm not relaxed...it's a weird feeling...maybe, perhaps I'm an auto answering machine today.

I shocked myself. For the first time, I said aloud, "maybe I should quit." Not being there for a few days, made me feel like I'm no longer a part. I feel so faraway. I feel so inadequte. I feel....I wonder......Maybe it doesn't matter- whether I'll be back. In fact, whether I can...with so much things...If only......

To quit is to give up completely. I'm not a loser. No...

2008-10-02T17:33:00.006+08:00

No. That was a fake. It was falsed happiness, falsed agreement, falsed okay. The whole day I'm convincing myself it's alright. Now I'm saying it, no I'm not alright. I dun feel good, I feel sad. I don't believe in signs, but I do see how things are leading up. Right from the moment, I know it, I know it ages and acknowleged it, I see it. And I admit it's hard, yes. What more do I wish for...I have love, I have family, I have clear plans ahead, I have dreams, I have friends, I have God. Yes, I should put time and effort, thought and work into these things in my hands now. Things that can bear fruits, things that I can see growing. Yes, I should be convinced, but, as with all things, needs time.
Did I mention, my cellgroup's reshuffling..maybe there wouldn't be an e269. But as always, it's like a fresh start, a season when God's hand will be stretched over us. I see..........great things :)

I'm suddenly inspired to draw out my future!

I love everything I have now.

2008-10-02T12:06:00.006+08:00

Ya...i got no school today. My lessons are on Mondays Tuesdays and Fridays now. Woke up at 11.45am. Hahah! Shiok! I bought a new pillow yesterday, some micro fibre gel thingy that originally caused $100+ and now being on sales at Tampines Mall, got it at $20. Haha! And while mummy was paying, Darren spied the 'paid' sticker freely displayed on the counter, so easy to grab one and paste on another product. No we didn't do that of course, but we keep laughing over that, I dunno why. Then we went to eat Häagen-Dazs. What an indulge. It's like average $20 per sundae. But ya, the ice cream is nice. Different from Ben and Jerry's in the sense that the taste is not that artifically sweet. But I still like both. Haa...greedy.

Speaking of greedy, April is getting hairy..

Cant see her eyes...need a haircut.

2008-10-01T22:14:00.005+08:00

My daddy's turning 50 the next year. I made a note in my heart today, to bring him deep sea fishing off the shores of malaysia next year. Like he used too, before work caught up with him. All that fishing equipments in the storeroom...The world is so demanding now, the living expenses are rising. I really cant imagine how the future would be like. I'm not even sure if there would be a future. I want to capture down the beautiful essence of my life, I am but a body which God blow His breathe into, to experience the life. It's a gift.

Let's get married in Australia.

2008-09-27T10:14:00.004+08:00

I'm in school right now. Early in the morning. Today got cast meeting. FYI, my FYP this semester is a film production. I've been getting up early, but still oversleeping, and returning late. I sort of feel like I didn't see April for a long time, play with her, snuggle with her.....missing out on life man. So busy and tiring seemingly =/ dun have much time to spent with Iggy too.

Right my schedule currently is all school, FYP, Rexaz training, Asian Conference training, tuition and all over again. *pouts*

Oh and I didnt see a sinseh yesterday. No time la really. Everything so packed.

2008-09-26T08:36:00.006+08:00

Wohooo! A perk to my school days blues....Veera is taking over Serene Huang, the another irritating faci who asked endless questions and give me Cs continuously for all my hard work. I got all the worst facis this last semester. It's only a 3 day week school schedule. I got 2 days off. But the facilitators are really making me feel like ponning. So far my favourite is Monday's class. So now today, Friday class, is a bonus! I really need to use this sem to pull up my GPA. Been skydiving down ever since after year 1. Okay, enough of school stuff, it's boring.

*pause*

Argh!!!! Iggy's leader just called me. So fierce! He threatened that if I don't see a doctor for my back today, he will drive me down to changi hospital. Further adding that it's near my cellgroup place and should not be a problem of time. T.T he so sharp. I must learn from him, able to uncover all the loopholes of excuses. Argh! Iggy, what did you tell him man? It's really not that serious baaa....nothing more than an orh bak kah.

*pause*

okay, got a deal. No western doctor which will ultimately accumulate to an X-Ray, which will cost more. Iggy allows me to go sinseh, haha, that tampines one. *cries* but still $$$

2008-09-25T12:49:00.004+08:00

I'm so so so pissed today. I think I was pretty rude, that was bad of me. But then I felt so wrong. How in the world can he assumed I was MSNing the whole day and gave me a D? Helloooo...i wasn't MSNing, Thursdays is no MSNing day because Richelle got an irritating faci like me! Argh! I'm so going to feedback in my RJ today. Stupid stupid stupid stupid!!!!!!!!!! D eh! The only reason to get a D would be blatantly not doing any work, or run off half during lesson, or not doing your RJ. *Bites him to pieces* Rahh...!!!

No, no nonono...I shall hold my peace and goodwill towards men. I shall be nice and polite and smile at him. In case he give me some low grade again. Nahh...cause I want to be nice. Shall grab on to world peace!

2008-09-24T10:31:00.012+08:00

Gosh, I was late for FYP meeting again. Not good. Later evaluation all shoot me. Anyway Im feeling so hungry now......

So Iggy stayed over yesterday and I so don't feel like getting up this morning.. It was raining and squeezing with April, her warm weight is so cuddly. Sigh....such a air of peace and love.... I just felt at peace. At love, especially Iggy, because after all, he has to be the only one that I turn to at the end of the day, with whatever feelings in his arms. I dunno how to say it, but it's really really, no matter what happens, you know there's someone who really really loves you. =) I just know that there's people loving me and God loving me.

Perhaps, after so long, it's really time to put down and let go, bit by bit. Maybe it's really because of the time I've spent, putting almost all I have for it, that made it so hard. So many decisions and commitments and opportunities that changed, altered or given up for this passion.
The decision to leave Usher, all my friends, Roy, Christina, Lawrence etc., those people who help me plant my feet in church. They are almost like my cellgroup. I love usher and yet I love this passion too. I was so so lost and I was rising up, working with the chief usher, so part of the move in the ministry. It demands so much of my time too. It was really hard to make a choice, give it up, to stop. I dun know how much others know, but I know how much my passion caused me, so many things apart from that..
So now comes the time yet again, when you feel that tug into another part of your life. Like so many times in the past, when I feel that tug but pushed it off. It's really hard to stop being an integral part. But it's time to shift my focus and relent to the tug. It's been 3 good years. =) God! Here I am! Here I come!!!! Here we go!!! Weee...

2008-09-23T11:13:00.004+08:00

Yeah! I can slouch again. Hahaha. Okay. Anyway, I'm quite sick of this skin. Hmmm.. Shall change it soon. Right now, need to come up with a design for the uniform for Asian Conf. Quite budgeted. Can only afford jerseys.

Iggy's dad bought a victoria secret's lotion over from US. Much as Iggy would like it for himself, he gave it to me. haha. Okay, thanks....I'll give you my Rseries- the one you like so much too. it's Designers' collection somemore.

And and, I still have not write a complain letter to Sony Ericsson yet. My handphone broke down 3 times in a year. Just a year! How pissed could I ever be?

2008-09-22T09:59:00.005+08:00

My back is hurting me. I'm like ramrod straight. Maybe it's good in improving my posture but, I feel so tired, all the weight pressing down on the back. I hope it's nothing more than a bump, Back injuries are the worst, dun wanna break my back. Gosh, it's only the first training. Madness. Feeling moody still...don't know why. >=(

P.S Cramps shooting up my neck and down my legs. My butt gets numb from sitting too long. I feel so pregnant.

2008-09-18T09:27:00.009+08:00

I'm into 3rd week of semester2. It seems like anytime now, I'll be graduating. But shucks, I still got 15 more CE points to complete. I'm feeling quite moody and pissed right now actually. Got 2 Cs in a row for one of my module and I dun think I deserve it. Think she's bias. Like I did almost everything down to the ppt and I still get C whereas another who didn't contribute in anyway and didn't defend during presentation gets B. Next lesson, tomorrow, I shan't do anything. Maybe I keep an even lower profile she would prefer. Argh! Feeling contempt =/ I'm in a foul mood really. Arh wells, monthly woes. Hate it. Boo`

2008-09-14T20:56:00.010+08:00

It feels strange walking flat on my two feet again. Like really really. It feels like now it's out of position instead and you know, sometimes, you get the feeling like you want to crack your back? The urge?? Ya, I feel like it's to be cracked back to the wrong position. Hahahaha. Anyway, the sinseh is the funniest ever. She wanted to do acupuncture. I protested and refused flatly with Iggy egging her on to do it and ignore me. Stupid him, still try to snap pictures of me. So yes, continuing, she said 'Are you afraid of injections?'. I replied yes. And she said, 'But you still have to be injected right?' OK, then I shut up.

Oh, and bought a sticker book with Iggy. Can paste our neoprints in it. =D

Okay, outdated birthday pictures. I was flustered coming home from cellgroup with one side of my slippers lost. I was freaking angry and there Iggy appeared with flowers. It was 11plus pm, nearing my 19th =)

The conspirator. He wore the heels David lent me and he gave me his sandals to wear on our journey home. Haha. Bless him. All the men who smiled at him along the way.

Iggy bought lilies too. Not yet so bloom. He said by the 7th day, it will all bloom.

So after 7 days.....

Iggy's the mannn....=D

2008-09-08T22:50:00.010+08:00

I'm home now, listening to the rain falling outside and Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) by Chris Tomlin. It's so beautiful...During worship, the presence of God just enveloped the whole place and I felt ever so thankful for everything. Not to mention the sermon which spoke into my very heart.

Alright photos time...alot alot of photos from holidays till birthday to upload still. Shucks! Faster clear...

One day, Mummy brought us out to eat.

At the coffee club

Little brother, Darren

Precious Ma-ma

Me and Mango Peach smoothie

Mummy and Ma-ma bacon and what-not sandwiches

My battered dory fish. Nice!! With steaming potatoes below!

Darren's very cheesy Alfredo- pasta, mushrooms and hams.

Piping hot!

O.M.Goshhhh...look at the dripping cheese. It's really alot, I assure you!

Next up is kite-making and home and Cafe Esplanade cheap cheap with Iggy!

April looks on...
See the shape forming up?

Making the covering...... Tadah!!!! Finalized product! I love the tail of hearts. Iggy's idea =)

Then while waiting for training to start one day..

Ah pek

Sotong Ring in my mouth

Brownie....not very nice. It's not warm and it's hard. Cafe Galilee's best!!He had a scoop of brownie too.

Us <3s>

Alright! Here for now. It's late I'm wanna tuck in. Next up would be birthdays =)

2008-09-04T10:00:00.011+08:00

I just finish uploading yesterday's photos and I realized there's still 30++ photos of the rest of the holiday's fun. Argh...long overdue photos another time.

Last day of holiday ended with a nice touch =)

Every photo album starts of with me. Haha..

First things first, set up our territory @silosoThen we jump into the sea! That's Darren and Gabriel..

Haha. Jun Hui!

Me and Darren

Louisa and Me

And me again! P.S It's my digi cam, so alot of pics of myself. Haha.

We played volleyball till our hands turn red and we jumped back into the sea. Then, back up shore, while the guys play soccer...

Hahaha, that's Gabriel style of playing soccer. Hahaha.

Me..

Gabriel

Darren..Shuai!

Hahahaha. Gabriel's constipated face..

Haha, okay..take 2

Jun Hui and me..

Then, 2nd round of volleyball..

Heheh, then back to camera..
After this we walked about aimlessly sentosa for quite a while, then washed up. Gabriel and Jun Hui all sunburnt.
All so fierce.. except me.
We're hungry.....
Haha, Gabriel's always caught wrongly
We moved to Ben and Jerry!!
Neh Neh chairs. So cute..
We slapped this all over our sunburnt body.
Double chocolate brownie or something..Yumm
Tuck in!Lousia's Vanilla shake.
So at the end of this sunny day, which is suprising cuz it's monsoon season and have been raining throughout morning and afternoons past few weeks (and despite the fact we keep singing rain down)...it finally rained at night! Heavy downpour!
Iggy so ah pek, hahah! We used the mats to shelter ourself..
The end!!!
Finally...

2008-08-31T13:11:00.004+08:00

My dog is currently being tortured by screaming kids and aplently of food she can't have. It's my brother's 21st birthday. Shared with Iggy and Darren, bought 2 baby goldfish for him. Really cute. They're the only fishes that I proclaimed cute and I ever touched. Sorry for the lack of updates. It's the holidays and it's ending soon. I've been so out and about, returning late and tired so didn't really have the mood to update. August is really a packed month.

Show you guys some pics- of sleeping April and her tongue.

There's more photos of holidays to upload but not now. It really packed in my room.

2008-08-20T12:41:00.002+08:00

I will seek the face of the Lord.
No matter the situation, no matter the circumstance.
In Him is the joy, the love and peace and the hope.
Step by step, small initiatives forward,
I see a better future, I'll build a better one.
I can show the world, the glory of God
and that He's who's in me is greater than he's who's in the world.
Hanging on tight, pressing on in,
toughen the armour and steel on ahead.
Face it all with graciousness and respect
and know that God's with you.

-

This song makes me happy =)

And I will fly
high above the clouds
Riding the sky
lifting Your glory
Let all the earth
watch us live in love
Praising Your name
and fly along with You

2008-08-18T21:03:00.014+08:00

Dated: 09/08/08. Long overdue.

3 people. 2 bicycles, 1 dog, 1 lift. Squeezeeee!

On the way...

Your's truly

Haha, amazing one legged paddler.

Raring to go..

My housing estate undergoing paint works.

We arrived at PRB with heavy clouds gathering

Kind of like a delta. Nice.

<3s>

Iggy and Darren

Us, and poor April. Looks like a chicken.

The wind's really big!

Us f00ts.

Smelling armpits..

Not so nice....

Need a breather..

Hakuna Matata!

Oh wait, something caught the lion king's attention!
(shih tzu is lion in chinese!)

Oh! It's Captain Uncle High Pants!

Keep staring...

Eh. Change scene. Football time.

Still staring...

All poor April does is stare...

What, yes?

The prehistoric throne

Stare.......

Oops...Wet...

Wet..

Not so wet..

Not wet.

Pampered.

Got sedan lor.

That's all!

2008-08-16T00:03:00.003+08:00

The joy of the Lord...it's so strong the moment I enter. I felt so revitalize, so alive than I had in weeks. Nothing beats your own cellgroup, being near them, worshipping together facing each other, side by side.

So haven't I learned that my ways
Aren't as high as Yours are
And You alone keep the universe
From crumbling into dust
You are God and though we would
Not have understood You

There You were Hanging blameless on a cross
You would rather die than leave us in the dark
Every moment, every planned coincidence
Just all makes sense
With Your last breath

You were there, You were there
During historys darkest hour
You were there, You were there always
You were the Victor and the King
You were the power in David's swing
You were the calm in Abraham
You are the God who understands
You are the strength when we have none
You are the living, Holy one
You were, You are and You will always be the
Risen Lamb of God

2008-08-14T23:59:00.000+08:00

I wrote a long letter to Daddy God up there in heaven. I pasted a stamp, sealed it and sent it up to heaven..Today was a terrible day. I just want to run, just want to hide away. Close my eyes and leave. Throughout the day, my eyes swam with tears, each time I remembered. It's all so wrong. I pretend it was nothing, that it's ain't affecting..but I feel so broken and down. I feel so hollow and empty. It felt like everything has changed.
It really pains me to see a love one so filled with anger and hate, words that don't belong coming out. It hurts me to see people fighting, people related by blood, people that know You, people that you've died for. I feel so ashamed and bad, it seems like things trigger off with me around. I shouldn't be there. If I hadn't insisted on coming..but my love one was sick. I sorry Lord for being selfish, that I've insisted, I hadn't know the situation. I was terrible, unworthy to live up as Your child, but I'll try.
God, I pray You will heal broken relationships and soften angry hearts. You have died on the cross for us, Jesus, and taken away our sins. Please Daddy God, remind us that we are no greater than others, to judge others, to be unforgiving. I pray that all those who have hurt me, treated me wrong, that You will bless them. I release them into your hands. And likewise, I pray you will help others do the same, heal their broken hearts and spirit. Help us remember and see the good things people have done, not the weaknesses. I pray let not this bring us down, but make us stronger, for You make us, break us and mould us to better people always than before. I pray that tender voices will be heard again. Jesus I love You. Amen.

2008-08-13T19:48:00.005+08:00

I don't know. I really don't know. I thought it was this, and then I thought it was that. And then I don't know what's what anymore. I was thinking and am still thinking, still wondering, still asking. I felt one thing and then I wonder is it selfish of me, is it wrong of me? Is it the wrong attitude, am I'm being a quitter? Am I'm giving up on the race? Or is it just a change, a place where I can put to use what I'm learning, where I am now? I know what I want. But is it the wrong thing. Is it what God wants? Is it what others felt and agree? Maybe I shouldn't think too much about others. Maybe I'm putting too much into their shoes. Maybe I'm imagining too much, thinking too much. I'm in such a dilemma. I want to hear confirmation but I'm afraid that people won't hear of it. Is it wrong to be afraid? Much as I try, I really do not have the confidence. And I wonder is it wrong? Is it an excuse for me? Am I really shortchanging the people? NOW, WHEN WILL I STOP WONDERING AND THINKING?? I'm being double-minded, am I? Okay, again. I feel so stupid and irritating!

2008-08-09T20:45:00.007+08:00

Ok...I got alot of photos to upload and many stuffs to update.
First up, Sleeping Babies and Love Bites. Long overdue.

So ke ai de xiao mao sleeping in front of the bus terminal. Not a wee bothered about the bus parking in front of it.

I woke up one morning and found April curled up by my pillow. Even when I moved, she just snoozed on. Then my mum bought jellyhearts..Strawberry hearts and jelly over Close upLayered with soft cheese and biscuit crumbs. Nice!During a breakfast session, unknowingly me and Iggy brought altogether 2 pau, 3 bread and a carton of soyamilk.

*****

And to my 6 other girls, thank you all for caring for me so much so that all of you got big BIG BA LU KUs and I only have just 2 small tiny painless one. Xin ku da jia! *bows*

and my dearest Iggy..... ^^

YAAAA!!!!!

2008-08-05T09:01:00.004+08:00

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?” The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!”

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “Where is God?!”

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?” The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time. GOD is missing, and they think we did it!"

2008-08-04T08:44:00.006+08:00

It's like have been so long, so long..
in a world where I'm all alone.
Feeling so lost and disconnected..
I didn't know what to do.
I feel like I don't deserve it..
just do not have that ability.
I moving further and further away..
can't feel, can't concentrate but I still love..
I long for that touch.
-

Plugging in..FOP, I really love this song, by Parachute Band:

Living rain fall again
Over my life, over my land
Living rain wash my heart again
Open wide heaven skies, over my street
O Spirit reside
Living Rain flood my life again

Come Back,
Back to Your First Love
Back to Your first Love
At the Foot of the Cross
-

I love God. He is my first love, all that I am now. Thank You Abba Father for bringing me through nearly 19 years of my life, growing me up and giving wonderful gifts of love and joy.

Okay, some peektures of Iggy's weird antics.

Now...I ain't that short!
It was because I'm dumped in an NTUC trolley by Iggy. He forced me in. Now how the thing end up outside his house is another thing.
He was pushing through a neighbourhood by a main road!!
I'm so freaking pai seh. He won't stop the cart.
He finally carried me out and he was like skate-scooting down the road. Haha. Okay la, cute.

2008-08-01T16:47:00.000+08:00

I have manly voice which keeps breaking. And I'm having headahce now. I confess I drank milk tea and ate agar agar earlier.

And 1 more week to school holidays! Hoho! Can't wait can't wait! Even if it's only a month at least there's a break. Can do more of the things I like!

I'm going to..
1) Build-a-kite, fly-a-kite..
2) Bring April for a swim in Farmway..
3) Go lazy swimming at Jurong East Swimming Complex..
4) Go yummy food hunting in Bugis, including durians..
...with my dearest Iggy!! Ya! I want to plan more, more time out! =)

And there's still suntanning at Sentosa with anybody! Book me! And how about baking session?? Or a doggies gathering time??? Anything!! =D

2008-07-31T11:47:00.004+08:00

Been falling sick the past weeks. The last few days were bad. Starting Tuesday, must have caught the virus from my classmate, and cupcorn made it worst. Had itchy throat and dripping nose which then turned out to a full fledged fever, cold and sore. Yesterday night was terrible. Never felt so sick for so long. Hate nausous feelings. Just sat in the toilet and cried. Wishing Xiao mao was there. Hahaha joking!!! I was wishing Iggy can pick up my calls >=(
But no la, he was outside having dinner at that time. My mummy was in a bad mood too when she came home, 'cause guess alot of problems including me. So I went to bed straight, dun wanna make her even crabby. Yup but feeling better now. Sore throat's turning into cough, working my aching abs. Just a slight fever, headahce and still dripping nose. Ya, I feel so bad for all the people that I pang seh. Esmond and my FYP mates. I'll be back in school to help. >.< heeee...

P.S April is behaving weirdly too. =/ Perhaps she's sick too...She's sleeping on Iggy's lap now. Sweet. =)

Today Daddy cook Japanese noodle for me. Very nice!! Iggy bought 2 tubs of Century Egg porridge! I feel so pampered and loved by the two important man in my life! ^^

2008-07-29T10:56:00.005+08:00

Today I have 2 UTs. I didn't study at all. Eh. I admit I never study for UTs before >.<

Yesterday had first FYP2 meeting. Seems like we're doing a film. Quite heavy work. Though definitely more experienced in that field than animation. Okay, my nose and throat's feeling itchy. Sneezing non-stop. Hm, I sense serious trouble brewing concerning my little brother. And church. Stand up Jo` and be a protector. I can handle this for him. Just like how my elder brother helped me in the past.

And and, I can't wait for training later. I dream these:

And I'm inspired to achieved this!

P.S My Taiwan guy's called 'Xiao Mao' and he's the one who can tumble and flip 720 degrees. Aww!

2008-07-28T13:50:00.005+08:00

Credits to Jolene =)

Coaches and Us. My Taiwan guy is there! Right beside me! Wheee....herher! ^^

TP Blazers. SMU Flare. RP Rexaz. Plus Xiong Ge, our team coach.
We got second.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. Haaa...I'm so going to practice bactuck and do an X-Out. ;) I'm so inspired and motivated.

2008-07-27T22:01:00.007+08:00

I feel like moving blog. Cause this blog is so full! 200 over posts. It's like so messy. Haha. What an achievement though.
Well, it's back to not enough sleep period again. I'm so sleepy all the time...leave my alone for a few minutes and I'll be giving puffer fish eyes next.

Anyway, workshop is a blast! My muscles are aching now and ever since the first day. It was really really good. I miss those Taiwan coaches especially this guy which I sadly can't remember his name. Awww...He's so nice =p .And the guys there can all do toss up straight to single extension height, another small dip and switch to arabesque single ex that sort of thing. I like their slow and light momentum. Can't describe la. Yaaaa...so I learnt many things and tried many things. It's like revelations. Haha. Oh. Sigh. My Taiwan guy...

It's a tiring two day. On top of everything, brought April out for a 'walk' earlier on. She ran off and wouldn't return even when I called and screamed. Betrayed my trust >=( I was like chasing her down the road and over all the way to blocks one street down. She zoomed past two carparks and many roads. Heart in my mouth. Caught up with her in the end though.

I proclaim I love cheer too! And Iggy's the best still of course! =D

2008-07-25T09:20:00.009+08:00

We are often discontented
and much dissatisfied
That our wish for recognition
has not been gratified.

We feel that we've been cheated
in beauty, charm, and brains
And we think of all our losses
and forget all about our gains

And dwelling on the things we lack
we grow miserable inside
Brooding over our deficits
that are born of human pride

We begin to harbor resentment
and envy fills our heart
That we do not possess the things
that make others seem so good

And in our condemnation
of the traits that we possess
We magnify our painful plight
and sink deeper in distress.

We cannot all be famous
or be listed in "Who's Who"
But every person, great or small
has important work to do.

Seldom do we realize
the importance of small deeds
Or to what degree of greatness
unnoticed kindness leads.

For it's not the big celebrity
in a world of fame and praise
But it's doing unpretentiously
in an undistinguished way

It's the work that God assigns to us
unimportant as it seems
That makes our task outstanding
and brings reality to our dreams

At the place God put you
begin at once to do
The little things to brighten up
the lives surrounding you.

"we are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed.

Perplexed, but not in despair.

Persecuted but not abandoned.

Stuck down but not destroyed."

2 cor 4: 8-9

Jimmy mentioned this verse. About the inner strength in me. When you feel like you had given all, had nothing else left, something else inside lift you up and push your back all the way to your destination. The verse is all along in my wallet. My first verse card which my mummy bought for me ages ago, when I came back to God.

2008-07-24T08:58:00.011+08:00

Backtracking...

Monday. Iggy came over with Roti Prata. It was raining. Sudden mad urge to play in the rain. Went down with April, splashed one round around the field and went back up. Iggy wrapped April in his shirt towards the end as she was trembling a bit with cold. Haha. Cute =)

Later in the day, went to school. Follow Serina and Iggy to shop for their FYP stuff, chocolate groceries. Went to an AMK baking shop. They got so many stuffs there and cheap! There's even frozen blueberries! I'm dreaming blueberry pie again.

Anyway, then went on ahead to AMK hub. Bought durian pancake. I ate it okay and I think it's nice and I wanted more. So I dun care..Iggy gotta appreciate century egg too. Neh Neh~

FYP 2 is starting. Gosh, barely a break. First meeting starting on coming Monday.

2008-07-22T09:17:00.005+08:00

Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday.
All the days in the week
and 5 out of 7 days,
I live my own world out there.
Do you know, do you know?

Words you can say,
try to teach and change.
But visually, physically,
I learn nothing,
I'm not growing.
I get dark thoughts instead
to draw and pull away.

It's a hypocritical world out there,
everyone, plus you and me.
We do and say things we ourselves criticize
But never mind, it's okay
cause there's got God in the house
and He speaks, loud and clear.

2008-07-18T09:13:00.005+08:00

Read this post monotonously.

Today is the day. Submission of FYP. Oral defence will be on 2nd August. So tired. Didn't really sleep well. Puffy eyes now. Today class record of 9 people. Everyone rushing FYP. I should have pon too. Didn't feed April before I left house. She was like jumping about thinking I'm going to pour food for her when I was walking towards the door. Feel so guilty. Later there's tuition too. I feel like a walking zombie. I hope today class end early since there's only like 9 people. Then can start tuition early, so I need not cab down for cell. I want to crack back.

Ya. So dull my life.

2008-07-17T10:29:00.002+08:00

I need some suger rush. I need a can of RedBull. Feel so nuah now. Aww..I wanna snuggle in to bed, with April- warmthness, smell and all. Haha. I love the smell of April, though disgusting it may sound. Lol. It's not that bad la.
Hmmm. Okay I forgot what I wanna blog about. =/

2008-07-16T13:29:00.003+08:00

It's the last leg of FYP. Friday's the submission! Jiayou to me! Jiayou to me!! ^^
And I can't wait for my pay to come in. I'm only starting my 2nd week of tutoring. My wooden treasure box is quite miserable right now. Past few weeks have been spending alot. On necessities, okay.... But anyway, another, say 3 more weeks of school left. Gosh, I can't wait! I'm gonna relax extremely, extremely.

2008-07-14T08:41:00.005+08:00

Haha. I found the secret to reaching school on time. Waking up late. I'm serious. Anyway my butt and arms are aching. Cycling to and fro through Pasir Ris yesterday. April is so cute. She got shaved body and big head, bushy tail. Sort of like a cocker spaniel cut instead.

Doesn't look that bad right.....

and walking in the rain =)

2008-07-13T17:31:00.011+08:00

Fun fun fun fun fun!!! Came back from a cycling trip with my daddy. We went to bring April to a pet shop in Elias (somewhere near to Pasir Ris Farmway) for grooming. Haha, Iggy! No more excuses. I did it okay! From one end of Pasir Ris to another. ^^

My daddy bought a mountain bike which arrived this morning. So we got two bikes now!
Anyway, April had already been dump in the pet shop. Haha, empty basket see..left the towels, leash and collar only. Hehe.

I fell down!! =( See those long scratches. So embarassing, right infront of a crowded bus stop and 10 seconds away from my destination. Poor April rolled out of the basket and tried to make a frantic escape.

There's my daddy! Upgrading his new bike at the bike shop near the pet shop.

While I take a rest...

Okay.....this is April most recent photo. Haha..bye bye to this =(

and sleeping with her hair on

and hello to this....later. Haha, she's not back yet. This is an old photo I found in my Dad's handphone.

Along with this...a family photo. There's uncle Jim, our family's USA friend and Wina still. And ya, scrubby April.

Ya...and this. Together with Uncle Jim. It was a few years back. See how baby Darren was and how toot I am. Plus long hair Alvin. Haha.
Cycling back to another end of Pasir Ris again later to pick up April...Woo, tired. Was painting the door frame with daddy just now. And installing new grill to stop April's mad attempt and jumping into our neighbour's bed again. Which she attempted today!!

2008-07-11T23:58:00.008+08:00

i do not recognize any love, and appreciation, any sign of a listening ear, any sign of wanting to help.

that's why people choose to put the knife over their heart. 忍

i thought it's better this way too.

i can't describe what i really feel.

in the end, i'm beaten down, retreating back to my shell, behind those walls.

2008-07-11T08:46:00.002+08:00

A thoughtful deed, a simple action, and nice words beget another friendship- Simple and truthful. =)

Today is such a nice day to sleep in. I woke up super late but I reached school early. Haha weird. But it's really a nice day today, chilly, damp....I woke up feeling refreshed. I dunno when since I felt this way. Somehow, I think I'm like a tornado, zooming through the day, always rushing...not stopping. Anyway, to add on to my packed schedule, I've gotten two tuition assignments. Teaching english, maths and science to 2 kids, P5 and P3. I need to study my maths and science again. Hahah. But yup, I accepted the job cause I want to learn to stretch my capacity. I think I'm complaining too much at a little bit of pressure. Besides, of course it's more income too..

I can't recall the what happen yesterday or yesterday's yesterday, and so forth unless I think really hard. I can't recall my dreams, I dun even know my calling. I'm moving too fast.

2008-07-08T15:26:00.005+08:00

It's a stressful time for most. Something to cheer you up. =)
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-old children, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

Child's Definition of LOVE:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." (-..-""")

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen" (WoW!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate"

"There are two kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them."

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." (LOL!)

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget,"

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and sat there. When his Mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

***

Aww..to think that I am whining about people not loving me enough. But really, those kids know that love isn't all about oneself. Convicted. T.T