Monday, April 30, 2007
Yeahness! I've completed my BF! I'm itching to go shopping again! I spend the morning and early afternoon away today purging my room and sharpening pencils. I feel rather satisfied after I'm done. Haha. Bought some stationeries later in the evening out too. God knows how long since I bought stationeries. Ever since I bade goodbye to Coral and enter paperles RP, I've been borrowing on my lil brother's. That's sad. And with that, I'm much much more satisfied. Haha. But there's alot more on my wants list. =P
Another week gone! Digital Media Arts again:
I'm amazed by myself to be able to churn out something like this. Thank God; it's too complicated to expain. Dreamweaver, Usher...it goes one big round. Sometimes I just wonder at His goodness.
It's so looonnng since I went to the seaside and sit, feel the wind and the sand. It's so long since I sheltered from the sun under a tree, on its roots. It's so long since I looked up at the sky and soak in His greatness.
Labels: happy, random
Saturday, April 28, 2007
I reached school on time. ON TIME!! I shouldn't have. My
faci is one cool
Russian who came in at 8.50am. Rah, I'm hungry. Deprivation (is there such a word?) of food will put me in a foul mood. The class is like, still half empty please. I feel so cheated. Like for once I'm early. I'll keep this in mind. Sigh..I dunno. I really dunno. Sort of invisible. Why in the first place do things go by stealth? Or am I just a
tyrant? Forgive me. I'm talking in parables.
Labels: random
Sunday, April 22, 2007
First week of school's over! It's not too bad. I like the modules and lessons though it can be abit tedious and dry. Just keep yawning and feel like sleeping. Still can't get rid of the high class feel. I better watch my english. Oh! Digital Media Arts. Here goes.
I thought it was rather good. Hurhur. It took me my 2nd breakout alright? I'm really a novice in photoshop.
P.S Today's the day. A step of faith and trust. Another point of life.
Labels: random
Friday, April 20, 2007
Sooner or later, you'll be blaming me for existing in the first place. I guess. It's always me. Everything's me. Squashed me under your foot, say you dun give a damn.
Whatever...
Freaking pissed. Can't even access stupid leo now. Say it's my fault, won't you?
Labels: rants
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
I dunno where you're leading me,
I got it all so wrong in me.
I'm bursting with unsurety,
lost at where you left me at.
Wishing in my heart I know what,
rather than hoping endlessly.
My flesh tingle at your touch,
wanting yet dreading whys.
Tell me please your intentions,
pull me out of this dark circle.
Labels: confused
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
First day of school was....well, rather boring. I yawned SO MANY times in the day. Can't keep track. I had interesting classmates though. I quite like them. =) My first
RJ of the year is to come up and design an
advertisement of yourself. I thought that was pretty cool.
Haha. I shall upload my end product here. Eh please, dun laugh. I'm an
amateur alright. I guess it's pretty lousy.
Haha.
You dun want to read the description that went together with this
advertisement.
Haha. Altogether, it's quite sloppy
I guess...But I really did try my best! Oh well, tomorrow's another different class. Wish me click ;)
Haha.
Sayonara...
Labels: random
Monday, April 16, 2007
It was like being at the front line. I was almost hysterical. I was pretty pissed off when this guy came right up close to my face and said 'I need THREE seats', providing me contact lens solution. I can't even take the time off to wash my face even then.
Argh! *shivers* But overall, besides standing throughout the long long service in
heels, I enjoyed myself. Elderly clutching my hands and crinkled eyes and smiles. Miracles right before my eyes. His tangible
presence and electrifying touch. The anointing. Whoa! =)
Tomorrow school's reopening. I'm so not looking forward to it. For all my modules, I'm posted to different classes. So hard to settle down. I dread at the thought of how to make friends. =( Sigh...At least I have
Jac in one module.
And I'm owed 2 weeks of pay.
Arh! I need $$$. I've got another 2 weeks. Shrieks.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Benny Hin. Miracles. Annointing. Prescene. Holy Spirit. God. I'm excited. Woo.
I just realised. It was Friday the 13th. How ironic. It was a beautiful day. I'm happy.
But yet a little bit afriad. I guess, maybe that's the way it works.
Intimacy is a need that human beings all crave
But the risk is so extreme, and few are quite that brave
We’d rather suffer endlessly this empty, hungry need
Than suffer vulnerability, attempting this to feed.Labels: God
Thursday, April 12, 2007
I'm extremely tired. Very tired. But I dun feel sleepy at all. Too many things running through my mind. I wonder, who do you think I am? Superwoman? No ,I'm not. I dunno what in the world do they see in me. I say it's God's grace by where I am now. I'm blur, I'm slow, I'm not really initiative, I'm
afraid, I lack confidence...so many faults! I failed and screwed alot times! Yet why? Why I'm ahead? Really, I dunno too! God has ways for doing things. I dunno what He's planning to do, but He has thoughts of peace and a future for you I'm sure of that. Promotion comes from God and not people. Just do what you can to your best and God will see it and all in all in the right time, promotion will come. Talk about sad, disappointed and jealous, how my insides just curdle at those words. How wearisome life can be? Came home all faint from training and now I see those. I'm not as good as you think I am. My life's not a bed of roses. I'm up to my neck here, struggling. Can I make it? 17 years of my life taught me that it will, just need to endure. This season will pass. Have hope, darling, as I hope for myself.
Hope is beautiful in hopelessness. Hang on...Labels: feeling down, God
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
I'm so proud of my leg. And the artistic value of my....
Bruises. Beautiful. Am I sick or what?
But I find them fascinating somehow.
My whole body is sort of.. seized up. I have problem with the slightest movements. My butt's aching too. Can you imagine? Even the butt muscles.
I dun look forward to work tomorrow. Shall find an excuse to leave early. Haha. Oops.
And I'm kind of hungry. Of course, I didn't have a proper dinner. Donut and some yam cake. Can, someone scream at me. I'm getting skinner. No no! Alright, I'm gonna forage for food.
Labels: cheer, EmergeConf.
Monday, April 09, 2007
I woke up on the wrong side of bed today, feeling cranky and biting off heads. Watch me torture the dog that disturb my sleep not only today, but any other day.
*evil laughter* aww, that face is not going to be spared.
*squirt* See, still give disgruntled face. Who ask you?
Orh bi...
Nah, my dog's just taking a weekly Sunday bathe. Nevertheless, she's not very happy about it still. I did woke up on the wrong side of bed though. The day wasn't exactly nice too. Shopping trip turned drama, which include my folks chasing a taxi, a police report and many over-reacted acts that made me long to wither on the floor and disappear. Being shouted at for all the wrong reasons put me in a fouler mood. Rah.
All of a sudden, I feel rather lousy. I guess I'm just not good with words. Sigh.
Labels: April Baby, random
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Ribena vodka. I'm feeling a bit light-headed.
Haha. Gosh, I'm not really a liquor person, it's not even I guess 2 table spoon? I came home feeling hungry,
very hungry. I ate a donut, 1/4 of an oyster
omelette, a few slices of
tom yam seaweed, a few scoops of chocolate ice-cream, a swig of green tea, and my unfinished
ribena still.
Haha, sounds like one hell of a hungry ghost
lar. Can, I'm a pig. Like, so many food please.
Haha.
I'm not really sure of what I'm writing, just going with the flow. Is this called tipsy? Anyway, training with Magnum is...I dunno, sort of like pushing your limit, breaking your mindset? I was like hanging there, not wanting to give up or lag behind, keep pushing myself to finish the race. Woo it's like spiritual warfare. I guess that's how it should always be in our
lives. I felt a sense of
satisfaction even though I'm like so tired out.
Emo-ing is part and parcel of my life. You'll never see an end to it so you'll have to live with it. Haha. But always, I will always straighten out in the end. =)
The kingdom of God is within YOU -
Luke 17:21
Labels: God
Friday, April 06, 2007
I dunno am I being overly-sensitive or what. Just get the feeling that something's wrong. It don't feel right. Not at all. Sigh...Deep, deep inside, I ever wondered,
am so afriad, whether that it's all another chester experience. Is it? Are you just playing, or tired? Or maybe, you've given up..
Labels: confused
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Guys, guys and dearest
Renaaaaaaaaaaaaa, I'm the same same same old Joanna. Maybe just a little bit more 'sharp' to my surroundings and all. Aah well..I still love you guys the same and even more.
'He really mean
alot to you man..'
Hmmm. But he hasn't been really nice recently. Well, maybe I'm the nasty one. OK, call me 小气. I guess I am.
Control control. Darling Karen said something about being emotionally stable.
Haha. Sounds like we're talking about a psychopathic. Anyway, yes, my emotions always take the better of me. Give God my heart, keep my brain. Now is not the time.
Yet, everything is easier said than done.
Sometimes, I guess I could not help feeling sad for myself. Maybe this feeling is overwhelming me and changing me unknownly.Labels: deep thoughts
My heart stopped every moment,
my
hand phone rang,
thinking it's you,
that you still care
and remembers.
Night brings no comfort
but tears and a small hope
that dies with every hour.
Quilts and comforters
could not penetrate the coldness of the night.
I guess it's my fault for all this,
& I wonder you must have hate me.
I guess you dun love me anymore,
for all the kid I've been.
Still I wish, I wish..
you'll come back..
Will you please?
I'm sorry...Labels: disappointed
Monday, April 02, 2007
Sharon's gift. Lawrence's SOP. Forecast. Cellgroup. Usher. Unpleasant surprises. Pondered about life and the ways of people. I have survived the week.
What I thought I
liked, I'm not really sure now. I see the people around me and I dun feel the same. I thought back to the very beginning and look at people I love leaving one by one. I wonder why, I dun really understand and now I know. And slowly, what's left, is going to leave too. People I really care about and open my heart to, my new friends I've met, treasure and love, but those I had the greatest time with is gone and different. How do I say, how to I tell how I'm feeling right now?
Sometimes, I just hate myself! I feel so stupid!!Labels: deep thoughts