I bought a new book today =) For One More Day by Mitch Albom. I want to start collecting books again. I added a fair amount of books onto my shopping/wish list.
You know, I read in the book and I thought it so true. People often chase after the love that eludes them. The one they thought they would lose. Why do some people know it so well and understand so well and is so able to translate it so well? It scares and fustrate me that how easily they put it into words. I guess I'm not really relational and a public speaker at that. And it made me turn rather bitter at times.
Anyway, my brother booked in today again. It was quite a sight, so many green soldiers and they all blend in. Once my brother entered the mess, it took a few mintues to catch sight of him. They looked remarkably the same! Haha. I'm going to go have some supper. And later record more songs =P and talk to my king.

Labels: deep thoughts

Along the wide field I walked a lonely road.
Lights and many hanging clothes my eyes followed.
With a rush of joy, I rushed forward home,
Bounding along the pathway, down the slopes.

With wide eyes and a loud shout, I entered through door.
My dog scampered up and the noise seems to echo on.
Silence manifest and emptiness draws,
laughter playing on the lips died off and was gone.

All had left and gone for a sup,
checked my phone and it seems like a setup.
No calls, no nothing to indicate my part,
I wonder if their hearts have me from the start.

Labels: disappointed

This will be a pretty long post. But before that, I must announce that my brother's booking out today. =) Anyway, this morning, on the bus to school, the very strong aftershave? of this guy sitting beside me threatened my appetite. It's so overpowering. Feel bloated just smelling it. Bleargh. So then, I was rushing forecast along the way too and with nothing much to do in between, I was allowed time to stone, and oh well, emo.

"Feeling really tired nowadays. Life is getting more routine and mundane. The things I do, I feel so robotic. No more fire, no more passion..in the things I do and have to do. As always, like many people, get all fired up on one point of time, yet it never got deeper and life return to normal, no vision, no purpose.
Is this how you would feel sometimes? That's normal, isn't it?
But that's not how it should be really. Yes I know, I know.

Once I have turned my face from Thee
Yet you sought me You cleansed me
Made me whole again
Jesus my Savior my Beloved and Friend
Your praises I bring
From my heart I sing

O draw me, O draw me away
Messiah today
To Your presence to stay
O Jesus now change me
And mould me
That I can be
Evermore true to Thee

They say, pray you, seek Jesus. Lean on Him. Find back the vision, the passion. All your troubles, lift it all up! His strength is sufficient. Dun give up.
Yes, pray I do all the above, but more then that, I pray that the world is not so politically correct. Not so superficial. A word of encouragement from the heart, assurance that besides all and everything, you would be there. "

Shut your mind up, you prayed yesterday, ....put on the helmet of God... It applies to yourself too Jo! >=|

Labels: God

But words shall never hurt me, they added.
Uncouth lips that spills not vulgarities but malicious words,
Brutal can one be in power and strength.
in words of hurt unwisely dealt.

Bah! My class have like only 10 people. That's boring. And I didn't bring Mr.Potter today. No space in my bag. The king bought some emperors' delicacies and cement sweets. Hee. Training later. Woo, 3 days to finish up routine 2 and perfect both. Jia you! =)

P.s my blog layout look a bit screwed in Mozilla.

Labels: deep thoughts

It's so hard to give up, so hard to turn back.
Coming so far, and than it seems to get stuck.
Sometimes it seems to get so hard.
Faces become just a mask,
hiding things much deeper within.

I hate Sundays. Have to endure shouting and shitty faces. Get shouted at for all the wrong reasons, for practically NOTHING at all. They dun care and they know. All they see is everything wrong. Money and things they could give, but that's not the love I wanna see.
I have a choice. To love or hate. To move on or go away. God's full armor, from head to toe. But nary a thing, on the back.
Never turn your back. On anything, anyone. I have choices but the long road seems to have hung on. I can only steel myself, and says carry on.

Labels: God

I finally brought my Vaio Vista to the school IT helpdesk to format and insert domain. Got so pissed in the morning when I can't access the school guest internet, I sent it down. Well, not bad. They managed to boot in 2 OS that I can choose between. Although, with much regrets, I lost all my pictures and mp3s and church files, Rexaz files, school files etc etc. =( I hope my old Acer still have the files in them *prays hard* I will cry if I lost all my pictures.
UT's about to start. And I'm freezing despite wearing a king-sized jacket. This particular class is based in Antarctica.
Oh oh! And my brother called me yesterday =)
There's many more I wanna say. But I gotta ciao for UT. Later!

Labels: random

In the presence of God's holiness,
hearing calls for righteousness.
Jesus knocking on my very heart,
knowing that it's being checked.

A life of deceits with masks and games.
weighed down with all the worries and wearies.
Knowing the rights and wrongs so dear,
yet so unable to break away clear.


If I could just tell you everything...every cutting words and breaking thoughts.

Labels: feeling down, God

The mood in my house seems so sombre! Anyway, the voodoo doll I bought together with my brother was chewed on by who else but April. I woke up to an eyeless plushie! And I can't find back the eyes. it's probably in April's belly. Whatever. I was so upset I cried and cannot resist calling upon the king. Naughty April!! =( But then, it's alright now. I managed to dig out two old very wrong buttons and super-glued it onto the doll. Now, it look even uglier. Haha.
Tagboard is up again by request. =) && I designed the picture at the top myself. =) That's me and my little brother btw. I'm quite amazed by myself. Often the things we can do, not knowing it, can really astonishes us. Actually, we have many hidden talents. Be proud of yourself! And, here's a little joke I found:
Jesus and Satan were arguing about who is better at using a computer. Neither will admit inferiority, so God stepped in and set a test to settle the matter.
Jesus and Satan took their places and began typing. They created spreadsheets, wrote reports, collated PowerPoint Presentations, sent e-mails, designed documents, Photoshopped pictures etc. They seemed to be neck to neck, when, suddenly lightning flashed across the sky and thunder rolled. The electricity went off and when it came back on, Satan found all his documents lost. Jesus on the other hand, was calmly printing out all his files. Satan became irate. "Cheat! He cheated!" accused the red-faced one. "No, he didn't," shrugged God. "Jesus saves."
Woo~

Labels: God

Haha, there seems to be a craze over this True Friend Test thingy for quite a while. I know I'm rather slow but there's nothing really to do in school so I created one!


Create your own Friend Test here

Forewarning! There are 10 questions and it may be a bit difficult. I'm trying to be mean la, haha. Forgive me and do not be too discouraged! =D

Didn't send my brother off today. Maybe it's better. I won't get all emo. Just return to a rather more empty house. I wonder if April knows. Okay, emo already. Blah! Bye!

Labels: random

Internet in school is so lag. I think I spend more time slacking and waiting for page to load than researching. Oh, I didn't mention but tomorrow my brother will be leaving for NS. I'm still contemplating if I should skip school tomorrow. Anyway, so I went out with him and our cousin yesterday. Gosh, the things that I want to buy. Got to start saving before next BF arrives. We had some stomach cramping pasta and quality dessert. Then they dragged me to do threading on my brow. It is painful please. Sadists. Haha. Then yeah, training rather reluctantly. I was half hoping they cling on and really dun let me go.
I'm rather moodless right now. Dun really have the appetite to eat. Blueberry pancake, milky poky, fish crackers. Can you imagine? I dun feel like eating, that's so not me. Hah. Whatever. I'm getting rather tired.

Labels: moody, random

Woo...It do feels pretty weird typing out of a new laptop. Haha. But I'm getting the hang of it. At first, I just kept banging on the wrong keys. Guess it's the size and space difference. It's really much bigger compared to the Acer. and much heavier too. But well, I like.
So right now, I'm transferring all my folders and mp3s and stuffs from the previous laptop to here. I feel kinda sad actually, saying goodbye to my Acer. I mean it's really stupid of me to say this but it had been serving me and my family faithfully for the past 5 years. And now, as I look at it, I promise it look so dogged and yellowed and...all frail, sad, defeated. I feel bad and guilty. Sigh. Should pay a tribute to my faithful Acer. Here's a pic:

Alright. I know the focus is all wrong. But yeah. That's one of the little pics I have currently of it.

Anyway, I was on my way home earlier today from school and I met the old lady selling tissues at the main escalators of Woodlands bus interchange. I've been hoping to see her for quite some time because 1) I want to buy tissues since I'm running out of packets at home. 2) I want to buy from her. She struck a chord in my heart, the very first time I see her. She, bend double with age, carrying a big bag of tissues, feet and legs all bandaged up and shrunk. And yet, the smile...is so wide, somewhat like my own grandmother :) The sight of her really...touched me. So I made up my mind I won't buy tissues from anywhere else except from her if possible. Oh alright, emo-ing. I should go and start transferring files again. Haha. Good night!

Labels: emo-ing, random

I got my new laptop. Like finally. *calculates months of waiting*
And its like really mine. Under my name. My very own. Hahaha.
It's a Sony Vaio c25. Urban Grey, orange lining. Windows Vista.
It's still under-going operation. My brother is fixing some complicated OS issue. RP don't support Window Vista and so now he partitioned the laptop's space into many many parts. And I will have 2 OS- XP and Vista. So then I don't have to (or rather him) worry a boot about the school rather erm, efficient IT helpdesk corrupting my main system, Vista. Let them do all they want with the XP and I simply can just delete away that partition when need be. Hahaha. Ingenious. Oh man...
3 cheers to my brother for sourcing the laptop. Mummy for paying. And Daddy for being quick.

Today, I'm doing about love in today's problem. All kinds of love there is. Patriotic love, desperate love, unrequited love, brotherly love etc. And talking about love, people of the world, they can love more than we do. And I love them more than I could say of those followers. It's a sensitive issue. I shan't elaborate. But the greatest love of all, is the One above.

Labels: deep thoughts, happy

I'm fed up with people asking me out or not all the time.
I'm fed up of waiting, of spending a day unplanned alone.
I'm not going to let others have their fill while I had none because I'm waiting for them.
So I'm gonna be the one asking. I'm gonna be the one to take initiative.
I'm gonna have my own life, my besties, my dearests and beloved.
I'm going to spend some time, and ought to have.
I'm going to catch up. I'm going to find back my first love, my passion. My visions and dreams!
I'm not going to sit and wait and do nothing.
I dun give a minute to those who are condescending, those who look down on me. Those who think I'm too young, nothing compared to them. They are selfish, prideful losers! Lalalala...

I can't wait for my new laptop. I hope it's for real.
There's so many other things I wanna say.
But words can't seems to fit the bill.

Labels: rants

I screw up real bad yesterday. ='(
I can never make it. I'm just not cut out to be one.
They always make me feel like a midget.
I dun feel supported, respected and encouraged.
Can some1 please offer some nice words to me for once?

My cough is worsening. Throat feel like it's burned with acid. Fever. What next. Past week is hell. I can't wait for the day to end. This a plain emo post. Dun hate me.

Labels: emo-ing, feeling down