Sunday, June 29, 2008
Leona Lewis- Forgiveness
I don't want to spend another day
pointing fingers while I'm placing blame
I'm no angel, imperfect myself
cause baby I get lonely here now
and I don't want to put it all on you
I admit I did some painful things it's true
and I'm sorry for them, I'm making amends
for always thinking I was innocent
Starting today
I'm gonna change
don't wanna make the same mistakes
Cause I can see a new horizon
the ice around my heart is melting
and the hurt I feel is slowly dying
Now I'm no longer crying
the bridge we burnt is being built again
It's leading to a new beginning
and it may never be the way it was
and that's because I'm talking about forgiveness
Forgiveness forgiveness forgiveness
I wish we could take back the things we said
cause what we said is not always what we meant
We lost out heads in the moment
and the words we used them like a weapon
But no one thinks that we will walk away
and we hate being the people we became
I wonder about that we're better than that
and I still cherish all the things we had
Forgiveness if everybody could forgive and forget
think of all the times that we could spend
being friends
Think about all the lives we could change
and all the love we could make
Maybe how the world would be a better place
in the end woah
Starting today I hope that we will change
and not make the same mistakes
Labels: deep thoughts
Friday, June 27, 2008
My mum is in PMS mode. The whole house is so tense, waiting for an explosion. Arh wells. Had fun earlier in the day with Iggy and Rich. No no, me and Rich had fun. Iggy was inside the room, with the air-con on and playing maple. Haha. While we sweat out there, oil oozing all over. We took alot of candid photos. And we baked cookies, melt chocolates, spread them on cakes, tediously put on icings and the whole madness was washing up the kitchen, dining area and dozens of greasy utensils. Haaa....Okay photos time =)
In the beginning, all was fine. We made ourselves comfortable like as if we were going to bed ;) We did stupid turtle poses, and try to be clean. April was staring at us through the doorway.
We invite chocolate expert Iggy to demo the chocolate melting process. There's April loitering about. We dip cheesecakes into the chocolate and put into the fridge.
Came disaster. Our choco dipped cheesecake harden and would budge. We tore the cakes apart trying to. So came wild ideas and we boil the cheesecake. It was chocolates everywhere.
We started playing with the abundance of chocolates. Haaaa...
We laugh till I was really crying real bad and oil was oozing out of our face. So we washed up and started the cookies baking time. Our cheesecake was still intact so we redipped in with more chocolates and stuck it on BBQ grill now. And see, we use a butcher knife for the cake.
We made icings and swirling colours. Sprinkle coloured balls and poked in flowers and heart shapes. I leave Rich to prepare her love cake.
Yeah! Us truly.
Labels: happy
Thursday, June 26, 2008
If these walls could talk,
you'd know my body is dead.
My mind has been taken over,
that's why I am so scared.
I can't control it,
anger is making me blind,
I've been left here on my own,
chained to a hate of some kind.
If these walls could talk,
you'd know about my fears.
About all those nights I screamed for help,
about all my fallen tears.
You'd know about the demons
haunting me at night.
You'd be able to help me
keep my fire alight.
If these walls could talk
they would say that it's all right.
God sends His angels
to look over me at night.
They'd encourage me,
say though I am alone
it doesn't mean I‘m on my own.
He watches me, from above
and showers me with all His love,
if only these walls could talk.
Labels: feeling down
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Lord, You lift me up on high
So that I might see Your glory shine
All that I am I owe to You
Love is the answer, faith is the question
Acting on faith will deliver me
A humble servant to You I bring
My faith in You grows ever more
Yearning for chances in life to show
So that the glory be to God in all who see
Thank you oh Lord of hosts mighty and great
Your love for me has set me free
For saving my soul You have done
-
I'm tired!!!! But I'm HAPPY!!!! It's just a few more weeks. Jiayou to me.
"Then the Spirit came into me and raised me to my feet..." (Eze 3:24)
Labels: cheer, God, happy
Sunday, June 22, 2008
I want to be like Andrew in the bible, knowing the value of invisible service, recognizing the value of individual people, and understanding the value of insignificant gifts. Perhaps, always you feel like you're living under the shadows of someone else. Perhaps, all your life, you feel like you sacrifice so much. And yet, nothing seems to come out of it.
I remembered the very first time, the very first love, the very first passion and call from Him. God doesnt need me. He wants me. And I need Him. All things are unto Him. Dun need to prove myself, just need to show and tell. =) I want to be a good example and testimony.
Labels: determine, God
Friday, June 20, 2008
My contacts lens are turning dry. Okay, I'm really super tired but I'm not turning in yet. Wanna blog out some thoughts I have.
I think so often we heard words that convict us, but how often to do we act upon the conviction? We keep hearing stuffs about appreciating a person, valuing
some one's contribution etc. and even not long ago I was blogging about it. One long post. I guess if you really care and love the person, nothing is too hard right. So it really does makes me wonder. Perhaps the longer the relationship last, or everyone gets too comfortable or familiar,
niceties are thrown away and you do whatever you please. I dunno, maybe I'm weird but I believe otherwise.
Also...Whenever someone gets too busy, would you be the one complaining about how you're forgotten, abandon and bored you are? That he/she's
not spending time with you....or would you be the one making the effort to go down, meet the person,
accommodate the person's schedule? Have you thought of what the busy someone could really be feeling and thinking? Perhaps that no one's bothering about how he/she's so stressed out. That instead he/she's became the one that's like pushing everyone away...Who knows eh? I guess I shall made more time and effort. I remember. No
procrastination.My little brother is sweet. He's pluck out the chicken skin and gave me the meat to eat. I dun eat the skin.
Labels: deep thoughts
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Busy
busy BUSY!!! I'm so caught up with everything, I'm not stopping to breathe, to take a step back and look, wonder at the beauty of my God-given life. Everyone's like rushing FYP. I'm starting to feel the FYP panic already. I left 29 more days to hand in my project. And there's a performance next week! Training almost everyday. Tell me how? Still got outreaches, zone chalet, daddy's birthday, ALL on next week! ARGH!!!!! God, give me capacity to handle!!! I'm so stress and tired =( My eye bags are big enough. My dark circles are very dark already. My school grades got alot of 'X's now. My GPA is going to suffer. This is graduating school life!!! Joanna faints and dies here. Trailing off to continue her FYP work in zombie mode. Bye.
Labels: FYP madness, God, rants, tired
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Early morning I went to vandalise his house corridor. Haha, it's in chalk la. So it's removable.
Labels: tired
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
I think
Shih Tzu are generally not dumb, probably a bit bitchy. And I find them super thick skull, literally and not. April can run full speed and bang into walls to bounce of them. When I trip over her, knocking into her head, it's my legs that turn blue-black. Introducing my April.
Sheena says April looks dumb here. Haha
After a bath
I didn't make her hair like that.
Haha. Okay, look dumb enough. Anyway, today is dearest dearest Iggy birthday!!!! Details of the day will be posted when the big day's over =) Hope you'll enjoy.
Happy 20th birthday, baby!
Labels: April Baby
Monday, June 16, 2008
Alright...Monday blues. School is back. Sigh, anyway my holiday ain't like one. Still got to go back to school everyday for FYP.
I'm wearing slippers now, to school, I thought it was design studio. But turns out it's studio production. Got to borrow a pair of shoes. Bother. I'm too lazy to move.
Okay...this is a late late post of me, rena and lousia sentosa trip.
Just the 3 of us.
Just lazing about on the sand and catching up. It's been so long....
Yea! Rena loves me.
More photos can be found at Lousia's.
Labels: E269, random
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
People say I'm blessed with the gift to smile so genuinely. People say I'm blessed with the gift to put myself in others shoes. They say I'm blessed with compassion and emotion for people. It's not in my nature to be selfish, or to be mean purposely. I just could not put my heart into hating someone. I thank God for all of that. Yet and but after everything, I just hope to hear someone say well done.
And someone told me, ‘who and what do you good things for? To be praise by people? God sees all that you’ve done. You don’t do things to be praise by people.’ This person crushed my heart, I remembered that. By saying that when he/she knows all my hurts and past, make me feel so taken for granted.
Yes. I know without doubt God sees me. He loves me, more than anyone. But does that mean that you need not give your thanks to a person? Does that mean you need not appreciate a person, acknowledge the person? Isn’t that taking a person for granted already? I’ll get tired too. I’ll get upset too, when I felt I wasn’t cared for. I need encouragements and support from people around me. People can be smiling and laughing for all you want, but deep down inside, you don’t know what hurts he or she could be hiding. So dun take that ‘joker’ in your life for granted. Or in fact anybody! That's my stand.
Yesterday Pastor Robb shared: You will not necessarily be rewarded for the good and right things you’ve done, but you will definitely by disqualified for the bad and wrong things you’ve done. He was sharing truths yesterday. And how true is that? For everything you’ve done in life, being nice to people, caring for them and being a blessing, helping people...all relationships can crumble in a moment over a small mistake.
He said too, Chose those that chosen you, love those that love you. This part I don’t really understand. Maybe all my life I invested in trying to love people who don’t love me, don’t appreciate and acknowledge me. Perhaps what he meant was you tried, you love and care, but in the end, those who chose you are the one you build a relationship with. And those who’s don’t, or whose purpose is to use you...well, at least you sow into their life. Arh, now I remembered, I will sow, God will harvest. Okay, now I understand.
I think in a way it could be unfair, but you were the only one I could truly express myself in front of. I pour out the unfairness I felt, the hurts that I thought wronged me because I expected you to be patient, like no others. I could be what I couldn't be in front of others, putting on a strong, smiley front. Being encouraging, being a listening ear. And all that I am to others, you were to me, the only one, to seek attention, to be pampered and show extreme care for. That's what makes you a different person from the rest of my friends and companions! I learnt this yesterday, man wants to be respected, woman wants to be love and cared for. I think it's true.Labels: deep thoughts, disappointed, God
Okay more photos!
Day 2
Early next day we went down to the beach. It was low tide. And their low tide is really way low. You can walk nearly like 100 meters out into the sea.
Along the way, walking on mushy seabed, you see seashells like this. They're all alive! You can see them all moving slowing.
There's
alot of small crab holes and then we found a big one! It scurried into a log as we approached and you should see my uncle, father and bro squatting there using sticks to force it out. But we did no harm. Let it go after examining it
thoroughly.
As it was low tide, we went to the resort's swimming pool first to splash about. The ladies in the family went shopping.
Around 12, the water was rising so we proceed to the beach. It was not yet high tide at this point.
Btw the huts are also resorts. Nice right...
That's my dad standing by the shore. He's a nature and sea lover. And when its low tide, the water recede all the way beyond to the breakwaters you see below.
We sat at a cafe by the beach. And we were bundled up in nice heated up towels provided by the resort.
That's my 3 cousins
My uncle. We were having lunch .
My dad. One of my favourite shots.
He collected all these seashells by the breakwaters.
It's high tide! Haha, see my dad squatting down there. He's digging a hole to bury someone. My family and relatives are behind playing. Funny actions captured.
Burying cousin Jonathan.
I love this shot too. I think it's so valuable. Captured my brother's smile.
The water is not that pristine as Australia's or
Tioman, but still good.
We went jet skiing too! It real fun! With each crest of the wave we shot into the air and bounced down to fly up again. We went out beyond the breakwaters to the open sea. So the waves were really big!
My dad and all his weird antics again. I guess he just wanna take in this
kampong life that he so liked. He always tell me about his childhood days spent in Marina Parade playing by the sea, before it was reclaimed.
All the other seashells we collected. Some are really very beautiful. They got amazing patterns and colours. pink and white strips, green and yellow
zig-
zags, maroon
criss-cross, black and white dots.
After the water activities, and that's when my ear got stuck and it's still hurting, we washed up and went for dinner.
Great ambiance. Dinning by the sea.
Back at the hotel, with my grandma. =)
My favourite auntie, my self proclaim God-ma. =)
I LOVE this shot! Me and my mummy! =) Do we look alike?
We were tired after the day
activities so not long after, went to bed, while my brother and dad went for the resort's massage services. They say it's really good. But I'm scared it tickles, so I opt out.
Day 3- Last day
We had a few hours left before our ferry back to Singaland. My dad was disturbing this parrot. He called, "hey you idiot!" and the parrot retorted, "Ah Gua!" LOL
Playful parrot, reminded me of my April who, upon my return, gave me attitude. Probably thought that I abandoned her. Wouldn't greet me, tag along me and look at me. She bite my cheek yesterday night
lor! I'm so upset I cried and she licked me all over then. I guess she called it even and is now back to normal.
On the ferry, father and son moment again.
We went up the deck again. This time I'm more secure and stood by the rail at the top for most of the ride.
Bye bye
Batam and hello Singapore! See the skyline?
I breathed in God's grace and beauty
So thus ends my trip to
Batam. It was short but sweet. Family time and love is what I wanna thank God for.
Labels: family times, holiday
Okay. I only have pictures up to here. I'm rather lazy to blog out everything. Quite tired. Reached home late yesterday. No enough sleep. Now back in school to do FYP. 30 more days. Gosh. My time is so packed and tight.
Along the way, walking on mushy seabed, you see seashells like this. They're all alive! You can see them all moving slowing.
There's alot of small crab holes and then we found a big one! It scurried into a log as we approached and you should see my uncle, father and bro squatting there using sticks to force it out. But we did no harm. Let it go after examining it thoroughly.
As it was low tide, we went to the resort's swimming pool first to splash about. The ladies in the family went shopping.
Around 12, the water was rising so we proceed to the beach. It was not yet high tide at this point. Btw the huts are also resorts. Nice right...
That's my dad standing by the shore. He's a nature and sea lover. And when its low tide, the water recede all the way beyond to the breakwaters you see below.
We sat at a cafe by the beach. And we were bundled up in nice heated up towels provided by the resort.
That's my 3 cousins
My uncle. We were having lunch .
My dad. One of my favourite shots.
I love this shot too. I think it's so valuable. Captured my brother's smile.
The water is not that pristine as Australia's or Tioman, but still good.
We went jet skiing too! It real fun! With each crest of the wave we shot into the air and bounced down to fly up again. We went out beyond the breakwaters to the open sea. So the waves were really big!
My dad and all his weird antics again. I guess he just wanna take in this kampong life that he so liked. He always tell me about his childhood days spent in Marina Parade playing by the sea, before it was reclaimed.
After the water activities, and that's when my ear got stuck and it's still hurting, we washed up and went for dinner.
Great ambiance. Dinning by the sea.
Back at the hotel, with my grandma. =)
My favourite auntie, my self proclaim God-ma. =)
I LOVE this shot! Me and my mummy! =) Do we look alike?
Playful parrot, reminded me of my April who, upon my return, gave me attitude. Probably thought that I abandoned her. Wouldn't greet me, tag along me and look at me. She bite my cheek yesterday night lor! I'm so upset I cried and she licked me all over then. I guess she called it even and is now back to normal.
On the ferry, father and son moment again.
We went up the deck again. This time I'm more secure and stood by the rail at the top for most of the ride.
Bye bye Batam and hello Singapore! See the skyline?
I breathed in God's grace and beauty
So thus ends my trip to Batam. It was short but sweet. Family time and love is what I wanna thank God for.