Looking through my archives now.
Last year, this month, on the 8
th,
I mentioned I bought the book Marley and me.
The movie's showing now.
How time flies....
I thought it was only a few months ago,
to think a full year has past.
And I mentioned how we wanted to do it for coach,
to make her happy...
On March 17
th,
I wrote that it's just as well that I took no pictures.
Nothing great I did, nothing I am proud of.
I remember, I remember so clearly....
The moment, I landed and turn round,
I saw your eyes behind, and it's your eyes that haunt me.
I feel like I disappointed everybody and you.
I never felt this lousy in my life.
I felt like I've failed.
Like I've spoilt the whole thing.
I think I put
alot of blame on myself for not performing.
Few days later,
I was still waking up with a heavy heart,
feeling sore and lousy.
Ambled about my house the whole day sighing and hating myself.
At that point, thought the whole world hates me too.
I remembered seeking out
Pasir Ris Beach with April.
Inside me, I said I can never look myself the same way again.
I want to give up the whole thing, for I thought it's not my thing.
One full year later, I'm still in it.
I don't really know what makes me stay.
Over many occasions, I wanted to leave
for other commitments, under pressure inside or out.
To say I'm passionate about it is not right,
to say I really enjoy being in the company is not really right too.
I just remembered one thing, 'to return stronger than before.'
To finish what I begun 3 years ago.
It's the last of what defines 3 years of my life.
Where everything that happened, revolved around
Rexaz.
You guys, are deeply attached in my heart, like nothing else.
That's why I stayed. To leave, is like taking a part of my life away.
I want to do it one last time with everybody. And I know this year, we WILL MAKE IT!
Labels: cheer, deep thoughts, REXAZ
